Storming Warriors!

Felt like watching some actions on Tuesday, and the bug stuck 'til Wednesday morning.  So I decided to get a ticket for the new Hong Kong movie, The Storm Warriors.  Just my luck, I got the last ticket, but I got a good seat -- second row from behind, only slightly to the right!

It was a great movie, despite the overly-done CG effects.  Yes, I'd prefer old style martial arts movies, where you get to see the artistic movements of the actor (or his doubles).  Good thing they still showed some plain flying Kung Fu thingy here and there.  And some bare muscles; theehee!

I don't remember the last time I watched movies in languages other than English or Malay.  It should a very long time ago, course I had a hard time splitting my attention between watching the actions (and drooling over the good-looking, unemotional Cloud) and reading the subtitle!  Although I'm familiar with the characters -- I read 'Pedang Setiawan' comics back in school, but I only read the first part of the story.  The second part is completely alien to me, so I had to start from scratch.  Believe me, it's a real hard work!

The ending was quite unexpected, though.  Confusing really.  And heart-breaking.  Wind and his girlfriend fell when the cliff ruptured, and Cloud jumped in to save them.  In the end Wind was saved, and Cloud wasn't.  (Oh well, there you go, the spoiling spoiler for the movie.)  But I'm pretty sure Cloud is fine -- they don't make heroes die.  Their girlfriends, wives and family can die, but never the heroes.  Right?

I'm looking forward for the next installation, to find out what happens to Cloud.  If you haven't watched this movie, you'd better do it fast!

Breathtaking!

White Horse

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naïve
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now

http://www.blisstree.com/ouroneheart/files/2007/02/fairy-wedding-dress.jpg

I caught the dancing bug!

As if the world is really going to end sooner than 2012, my bosses never stop pouring me with tonnes of work, which leaves me feeling lethargic at the end of day.  Last night, I must have reached my limit.  Instead of going to the gym, I went straight home.  And as soon as I entered my house, I fell on my knees.  Actually, I felt like sleeping on the floor straight away, but I thought better off it.  After a few minutes feeling like a heap of old rag, I decided to go to the gym.  Hopefully I could sweat out the stress.

I joined a stretching class, but I couldn't stand even 20 minutes of it.  I was huffing and puffing throughout the class.  The fact that the studio is a hot studio with wooden walls helped only to worsen my condition.  At one point, if I were living in the Street Fighter video game, my energy level must have gone to zero -- and I would have magically flown to the floor.  I was surprised that I didn't collapse; I guess my huge ego was the only thing holding me into the poses.  Good thing too, otherwise I could've whipped up a frenzy in the club and cause the instructor one heck of a report to write!

After the stretch class, I decided to join Restorative Yoga.  It's time to restore my overworked body, or I might have to take a month-long holiday!  Plus, I didn't think I had the strength to climb up the stairs to the locker room. The instructor played a yoga mantra CD during the class.  She played it at such low volume, that all I could catch was the rhythm.  It was very soothing, and I felt calm in no time.  I even felt my energy returning.

It was halfway through class that this slightly fast track was played.  For some reason, I could picture the beat in my head -- this random whirlpool, like the ones displayed on my Media Player.  A short while later, I felt like moving to the beat.  Heck, my fingers were already moving by this time.  I had to concentrate hard to keep still.  But that was no use, because my entire body started moving!  I couldn't believe it, and still can't believe it -- I did belly dance in Restorative Yoga class!  Subtle movements only, I hope.  I'm glad the instructor got into the pose with us, otherwise I she might got very offended!  And I'm praying hard that nobody noticed, or they caught me on camera!  Please, please, please..... ~shuts eyes really tight!~

http://www.4shared.com/file/55429406/3911f0a3/danzaarabezs4.html

I don't know how long that went, but I was both glad and sort of disappointed when the class was finally over.  Glad because nobody pointed out that I moved during class, so no humiliation.  Disappointed because I was enjoying it so much.  I never danced to any song on my own before -- believe me, and ask my teachers.  I can follow them dance, but if they me dance free-style I'd just go to the back row and sit.  I don't know what it is really, maybe I never felt the rhythm?  Or I haven't found MY rhythm?  Well, whatever it is, it all changed last night.

Let's hope that little 'skit' means I finally found my artistic side, and confidence.  A few of my instructors and even teachers from school told me that I can dance but I need to improve on my confidence level.  I'm pretty sure I'm still not confident enough to do a solo performance (what..., already?) but at least I'm getting there... But wait, I don't think I'd like to do any solo performance, especially not a solo belly dance!  Believe me, the sky's going to fall if I even put on a belly dance costume!  And I'm pretty sure nobody makes a costume big enough for me.

Trust me, she's not big enough...

(Image from http://www.venusimaging.com/Images/Online/2006/FebMar/valerievigdahl.jpg)


Read an article by Valerie Vigdahl on Belly Dancing for Plus-Sized Women

What's hilarious?

What kind of question do you ask if you see a group of people talking in low voices, crossed arms and serious expression on their faces?

One person in particular decided to ask this:
"What's so hilarious?"

I have no idea what in the world he was thinking. Or whether he even understands what 'hilarious' means.

To be honest, I might have responded nicely if it came from someone else but this guy is someone who brags about himself all the time. Let me repeat: ALL THE TIME! And I heard him correcting other people's language numerous times before. Really. I heard him because he was talking so loudly, as if he wanted everybody to know the other person made a mistake. Or that he wanted everybody to know that he's 'good'. Yeah, whatever.

My sister would definitely say this guy is just seeking attention. Which I definitely agree. But, tough luck, wise guy, you're barking the wrong tree. If I don't talk to you, it means I'm not interested to have conversations with you. And absolutely not interested to be corrected by your 'hilarious' smart-ass language.

So eff off!


p.s. I guess my friend found it hilarious - she laughed all the way back. At least someone is being positive about it...

Gotta work!

It's gonna be a long day today...

God, give me strength!

(Don't let me fall asleep on my desk...)

Leave A Light On

LEAVE A LIGHT ON
BELINDA CARLISLE
(Rick Nowels/Ellen Shipley)

(Image courtesy http://piratesandfireflies.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/holding-hands.jpg)

Take my hand
Tell me what you are feeling
Understand
This is just the beginning

Although I have to go
It makes me feel like crying
I don't know when I'll see you again

Darling leave a light on for me
I'll be there before you close the door
To give you all the love that you need
Darling leave a light on for me
'cause when the world takes me away
You are still the air that I breathe

I can't explain I just don't know
Just how far I have to go
But darling I'll keep the key
Just leave a light on for me

Yes I know
What I'm asking is crazy
You could go
Just get tired of waiting
But if I lose your love
Torn out by my desire
That would be the one regret of my life

Just like a spark lights up the dark
Baby that's your heart

Birthday wishes...

A friend's birthday is coming and so I asked how she'd like to spend her birthday. Being a practical person, I expected her reply to be either "A happening party my friends!" or "Nevermind la, we just have dinner, like always". Instead this is what I got:

"Either with Daniel Craig or George Clooney!"

I was speechless when I read her text. No, I swallowed a big gulp of saliva! Then I re-read the message. And again, and again...

Oh boy, how in the world am I supposed to bring either of them to her birthday? Let's see, I have a friend who lives in the district where one of them is often seen - can I ask for a favor from this friend? Hurmm... Or maybe I should... Or... Wait, this is better...

Then, I got this email which pretty much solved my problem:

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires. 'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies. 'Is this your thimble?' t he Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. 'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased w ith the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?'

'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked. 'Yes,' cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'

The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.




I laughed so hard when I read this - God answered my prayer!  Well, sort of... So, changing all reference of the seamstress to my friend's identity, I forwarded the email...

I guess she's spending her birthday with George Clooney afterall. And I get to keep Daniel Craig. =)

I Hid My Love

I found this poem in one of Malaysia youth newspapers a few years back in someone's dorm room.  I don't keep a copy of the original article, so I don't think this is the whole poem I read - if you happen to know this, or wrote it, please share ya!  I don't know why after these years I suddenly remember this.  Need to tell someone I love him/her?  But who?  My grey cells have been busy processing data for work the past few weeks, I don' have time for 'mushy-mushy' thingy.  It just doesn't make sense why I - or something in me, want so much to get this poem right.

Or is it a warning that I'm becoming a robot - gosh, gotta get back to work!  Ok, after I finish writing down what I can recall...

*****************************************

I HID MY LOVE

I hid my love,

Behind smiles that seemed to bear no meaning,

While my eyes welled with deep feeling,

Between the words that seemed so much more,

Then they did just a while before.

My very actions,

Can be full of interpretations,

My gestures; no matter how subtle they be,

Can reveal all that is dear to me -- the very love I hid.

When I said "thank you",

Listen not to my words alone,

But also to the very tone,

Because my love hides deep in my voice,

Giving cause for you to rejoice.

And when I let you do,

The things that you do for me,

I leave you to do them because I see,

It's your concern you're trying to show,

It's through this your love shines - I know.

So I hid my love.

For my love lies not in what I sometimes say,

Nor the actions I show to you

But most of the times, in all that I don't say,

And more often than not in all that I don't do.

~Author unknown~

(Image from http://images-0.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/230936-14-hide-and-seek-and-love.jpg)

Assy Guide

Someone from the management team sent me an e-mail that goes like this:

"Please read through this assy guide and comment."

Whoa... ASSY?  As in ass-y?

Despite this @#$!$#$%^!^@ (oh look, three dollar signs! i'm materialisic today!) thought going through my mind, I opened the attachment.  I half expected to see a pic of huge butt, or something like that.  Well heck, I even held my breath at whatever that might come.
...
...
...
And what did I find?
...
An equipment assembly guide!  So 'assy' is short for 'assembly'... That's a relief!

Hey, don't blame me for thinking about butts.  I never heard or used 'assy' for assembly.  Not even during my 'crazy' years in uni.  Malaysians really 'boleh' invent things you never thought possible!  Haaha!

I wonder... what next?

Jiva-Diva!

I was late for Detox Yoga on Friday, so when another founding member asked me to be his partner for Latin Partner I said sure.  But I did warn him though, I usually don't remember the choreography so don't get pissed if I do my own steps.  He said it's ok, he just needed to move anyway.  And if he can dance, then he might be able to impress his wife!  Isn't that cute?  Aww... =)

And so I went to class.  Waited for that uncle, but he didn't show up.  Well, he did, actually but he stayed outside.  I found out that he has ankle problem and couldn't do the Jive.  Wait... Jive?  Hulloh, what's that?  I heard of it before, but never really bothered to know more.  Because I never thought I'd be learning it.  Alamak...

The instructor did a quick demo when I asked him - still didn't get it.  So I told him to teach us the BASIC of Jive.  Don't even think about easy steps,  just the basic step.  I repeat, BASIC.  Honestly, I feel sorry for the instructor for having to deal with people like me - no flair in dancing, but demands like a diva.  Haaaha!

So then the class started.  Not so bad, for the first part I mean.  And the music was rather catchy.  Overall I liked it.  Until I had to dance with the instructor.  That's when I felt really inferior, I almost ran out of the studio!  I mean, come on, to partner with someone whose done this for years... and I'm a first timer.  First time doing Jive, first time dancing with a partner!  Heck, I didn't even know where to put my hands - he had to adjust a few times.  Very, very patient instructor -- thank you.

The second part was terrible - we had to turn and turn and turn some more.  And we need to have our hands away from the partner's face - most of us octopi swayed our hands too wildly, we scratched people's faces!  So after a few red lines on my partner's (new partner, not the uncle earlier), I decided to keep my hands to my side.  But that was after I gave up.  Really.  I couldn't follow the steps, not with the legs and hands coordination, and it really didn't help that my partner couldn't lead.  Hell, she couldn't even get the beat right.  I almost burst into tears at one point when I saw myself dancing in the mirror.  A complete disaster!

Luckily for me, we got to change partners during class, and my next partner assisted me a lot.  Helped with the counting, and hand gestures, steps - almost everything.  I got the steps (finally), and started to enjoy the dance better.  Then came the last part - we had to turn.  My legs got tangled with my partner, so I was dragged to dance witht he instructor again.  Great, just great!  My partner was an elderly lady, so getting tangled with her is funny.  But the instructor is a guy - it's completely a different story!  But I had no choice - just do it, lah!  No tangles, luckily.  (Who am I kidding - he's a pro, of course he knows how to move!)

Anyways, we finished the class, me dancing with this auntie and laughing our heads off everytime we missed a step - the turning was really fast and we couldn't catch up most of the time.  But all in all, I enjoyed it.  I enjoyed Jive, and maybe, just maybe, I might join that class again. 

That music we danced to is really cute and fun, it played in my head until this morning!  Must ask the instructor what the title is!  Lalalalalalala!  =)

When will I be able to wear that dress?

(http://www.danceshopper.com/images/DVD_Video_Books/DVD_Video/New_ABC_s_of_Latin_Jive-aa.jpg)

In good feather...

I woke up yesterday morning and found bird's feathers on my bed!  White and light grey, fluffy, pretty nice actually.  But I wasn't comfortable - suffocated, maybe an allergic reaction(?).  And it was too early for such a surprise - 5.05AM to be exact!  The birds must be really, really busy shedding off their feather.  But what for?  Preparing for the monsoon season?  Haha!

When I met up with a friend, she jokingly told me maybe I had an angel visiting me that night, that's why the feathers were on my bed.  And mind you, they were only on my bed, none on the floor.  I didn't quite get it at first, until she mentioned that angels have white wings, bla, bla, bla.  Which is quite ironic since the afternoon before I saw a movie poster which has an angel on it.  I didn't tell her though, who knows what crazy conclusion we might have came up with...

Once I got home I did a simple search on "myth dove feather", and these are some interesting results Google came up with:

Birds in Mythology

Life, death, luck, and love have all been tied to the tail-feathers of these ... Mythology associates doves with love and Mother goddesses such as the ...
www.shawcreekbirdsupply.com/mythology.htm

READ MORE - All about Greece, greek history, mythology, language ...

In more recent mythology, Eros is the son of Aphrodite and Ares, and one of the younger deities ... The golden arrows with dove feathers are arrows of love, ...
www.hellenism.net/cgi-bin/display_article.html?s=28&a=54

APHRODITE : Greek goddess of love & beauty ; mythology ; pictures ...

Her attributes included a dove, apple, scallop shell and mirror. .... Ancient mythology furnishes numerous instances in which Aphrodite punished those who ...
www.theoi.com/Olympios/Aphrodite.html

Animal Totems: The Power and Prophecy of Your Animal Guides - Google Books Result

by Millie Gemondo, Trish MacGregor - 2004 - Body, Mind & Spirit - 280 pages
In Greek myth, the dove was Athena's bird and represented the renewal of life and ... Among the Pueblo Indians, dove feathers were used in prayer sticks, ...
books.google.com.my/books?id=4cHG7Oau_f4C&pg=PA117&lpg=PA117&dq=myth+dove+feather&source=bl&ots=RAD-JhvrmJ&sig=baDq5Pj_6CIqsc_Z6nUPZ0KswV8&hl=en&ei=fiTySq7MDI2Y6wPq4_0N&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=8&ved=0CB8Q6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Dove Goddess

26 Feb 2005 ... It is not clear if the dove was only a symbol of a divinity or an attribute for a certain goddess in the Pre-Hellenic mythology. ...
www.pantheon.org/articles/d/dove_goddess.html

Birds in Mythology - Myth Encyclopedia - Birds and Creation, Life ...

According to Greek mythology, the feathers of crows and ravens were originally ... In the ancient Near East and in Greece, the dove was a symbol of love and ...
www.mythencyclopedia.com/Be-Ca/Birds-in-Mythology.html

I have to say, I never really know what breed the birds are, I never really saw them.  All this while I only heard the cooing sound, and I assume they are either pigeons or dove.  And I should try to search for "myth pigeon feathers" if I want more info, but I'll pass.  Not interested, thank you.  I only searched for "dove" to verify the story which my friend told me - that doves are usually linked with angels and Gods for Christian.  I wondered: why dove?

I still haven't found the answer, and I don't intend to. 

What I can say is, based on the search results, doves are linked with love, holiness and healing.  But someone must have forgotten something - ALLERGIC REACTION!

Really, my body was itchy all over, and I was cranky the whole day yesterday because of it.  So much for love, huh?  And healing...?  More like causing illness to me!  Sheesh!

I Can Fly! I Can Fly! I Can Fly!

Think of the presents you've brought
Any merry little thought
Think of Christmas, think of snow
Think of sleigh bells -- Here we go!
Like a reindeer in the sky
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
Soon you'll zoom all around the room
All it takes is faith and trust
But the thing that's a positive must
Is a little bit of pixie dust
The dust is a positive must
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!
When there's a smile in your heart
There's no better time to start
It's a very simple plan
You can do what the birdies can
At least it's worth a try
You can fly! You can fly!
You can fly! You can fly!

That's what Peter Pan sang to Wendy, John and Micheal (yeah, I remember their names) to get them to fly to Neverland. I used to buy the gold and silver 'pixie dust' and sprinkle it everywhere and then pretend that I was flying.   Sometimes I'd do it with my friends, especially when I was too broke to buy the glitters on my own. Despite the constant imagining of flying, I knew in my heart that it's really impossible.  Even when my friends convinced my some people can actually fly (like, ahem, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell!), to me I'm just too heavy to fly.

And yet, I flew in Body Balance just now. No, not literally flying, silly, I was just so excited I felt like I actually did fly.

The instructor told us that we were going to achieve something new today, at the beginning of class.  And I was looking forward to it. I seldom join Body Balance so I didn't know what kind of 'something new' the instructor was going to pull off.  So there was a bit of excitement and dread too, I guess. Towards the end of class, he finally said it: "We're going to do the split". I was so shocked I blurted "What!?!", which was followed by smirks from the aunties who are regulars to that class.  Yeah, these aunties were good, they could follow the instructor throughout the class when I struggled to watch and then follow. But, the faces they pulled were not really nice, and to be honest I was slightly hurt.  Oh well, maybe I sounded like I gave up before even trying. I shouldn't have said that out loud - serves me right.

So I tried to split anyway, despite this knot in my stomach, and this picture in my head of my muscles tearing. I never attempted a split before.  Well, not mindfully.  If I'm not mistaken we did a split prep in one of the yoga classes but my mind was on something else so I never knew how I did - how low I got to go. To me, that time I was just doing an awkward-looking pose - not split, not dragon, or anything at all.

I split first with my left leg in front, and I got the top of my right leg scrapping the mat.  Boy that hurt! So I came out of the pose and started over.  But I couldn't even start over as the instructor asked us to change side.  And so I did.  I know my right side is more flexible than my left, but still I was afraid to tear whatever muscles there are to tear.  So I closed my eyes and went down.

That's when I heard a gasp coming from this lady next to me.  I looked at her; she was staring at me.  Then I looked at everyone else in the room, and most of them were looking at me!  And surely enough, I already though of the worst - had I torn my pants (couldn't be muscle, I'd be screaming in pain if I had) or was I doing things wrongly? To my surprise, when I looked in the mirror, I saw my butt flat on the floor!  I did a full split! Yeay! So that's why that lady was gasping, and everyone looked at my with this funny expression! Phew!

Not bad for a first mindful attempt, huh? I never tried to do a split before even though I knew very well I could do the pigeon pose rather easily. Guess I'm a scaredy-cat afterall, eh, Epa?  On the bright side, I have achieved my ultimate flexibility goal.  Well, at least on one side, I have.  But the point is, I split! Theeehee!

It's really funny to remember the look they had.  It was utter disbelief.  Maybe it was more than that, but I can't think of any words to describe it.  But what I felt was priceless - relief, I mean. OK, and proud too. Come on, who wouldn't be proud, especially when you're the fattest in class, keep falling off doing the balancing poses, and suddenly you can do a split while all the skinny and primp-looking women couldn't?  Yeah, I know I sound like a pompous bitch, but hey, let my live this moment for a bit will you?

Actually, this is not the first time this happens to me.  Earlier this year, there was this lady telling me that she's been doing yoga for some time when she had to stop for a couple of months.  So she decided to start yoga again.  And she told me she felt slightly nervous because she knew she'd do worst in class.  Then she added, "But if you're joining class, then I don't mind". I thought that was because we've made friends, but I found out after class that she thought I was going to do worse than her.  Because I'm fat.  How did I know this? "I saw you.  You are fat but you can hold that pose for

so long.  You lied to me.  I thought you cannot do so much".  What the...? I was pissed, hell, I was furious when she said I lied.  I didn't say anything to her about what I can do.  As I can recall, I only told her how the instructor's style was.  She was the one bragging about her yoga practice, her gym membership, her rich husband... and I'm the liar?  Get lost, bitch! 

Oh, just for the record, I never saw that lady again after that 'fateful' day - she really got lost, I guess.

That was my initial reaction, of course. If there's one thing I hate the most, it's when people call me a liar. I don't lie - heck, I'm a terrible liar.  You can immediately tell if I try to lie to you, believe me.  Ask my mum and friends, they know.

Now when I think back on that comment, I think it was actually an compliment.  An accomplishment, in fact.  She thought I was not capable of doing any simple yoga pose, but yet I did.  And as for tonight, I'm pretty sure the 'regulars' never, not even in their craziest dreams, thought I could go even lower than them!

Being obese since I was little, people always look down on me. I don't know, maybe to them I was created to fail, and be good at nothing accept to taking whatever awful things these skinny people say about me, and to me.  Hello, being a size 10 or 12 doesn't mean you're any good.  It only means you can get RM3 top at Reject Shop, if they even sell anything that cheap.  Seriously, these people should really get their brains checked!

Oh, whatever. The most important thing: I did a full split! Yeay!

http://www.cari-fit.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/2845-32.jpg

Bluwehhh...

The past couple of weeks had been so packed with activities I didn't have time to blog! I certainly hope it won't be this busy all the time anymore, cause I'm pretty sure I can stand this kind of life! Yeah, sure I like to be distracted by the mundane monotonous life but if you get surprises at every corner and every hour... believe me you'd be drained of energy in no time. And to live two whole weeks of one surprise after another...

Anyways, I guess I reached my limit this morning when I just felt like spending the whole day in bed. Spending time by myself, reflecting on life... yadda... yadda...

But that didn't happen. Because I dreamt of having dead animals in my food and drinks and that made me throw up all night! And by the time I'm supposed to go to work I was limp. And sure enough, another fainting session - only a few minutes this time, luckily, and another MC.

So now I wonder if I should do Body Balance later, or if I should just stay at home and recover the rest hours I lost from last night.
What would you do?

Keep moving!

I've been humming this tune since morning, without realizing which song it is. It made me feel like dancing. Heck, I even danced during my company's event earlier, when my colleagues were karaoke-ing. A few people were shocked to see me move, they actually asked me to perform a dance. Yeah, right, dream on people! I only dance in belly dance and zumba classes.

Anyways, I finally got the time to check the lyrics, and I'm very pleased! The first para is already very uplifting and the rest of the song is about not giving up no matter what comes your way. I haven't heard this song in years!

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Keep On Movin' - 5ive

I woke up today with this feeling
That better things are coming my way
And if the sunshine has a meaning
Telling me not to let things get in my way

When the rainy days are dying
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Ahhhh...
Never let go gotta hold on and
Non stop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Ahhhh...

Get on up when you're down, baby
Take a good look around
I know it's not much but it's okay
We'll keep on movin' on anyway

Feels like I have should be screaming
Trying to get through to my friends
sometimes it feels that life has no meaning
But I know things will be alright in the end

When the rainy days are dying
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Ahhhh...
Never let go gotta hold on and
Non stop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Ahhhh...

Get on up when you're down, baby
Take a good look around
I know it's not much but it's okay
We'll keep on movin' on anyway

When the rainy days are dying
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Ahhhh...
Never let go gotta hold on and
Non stop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Ahhhh...

Get on up when you're down, baby
Take a good look around
I know it's not much but it's okay
We'll keep on movin' on anyway

Fishies

A good friend gave me an aquarium set about a couple of months back - I think I mentioned this in one of my earlier posts. I have been thinking what type of fish I should get. Colourful decorative goldfish or more 'practical' fish, the ones I can cook later when they're bigger. What??? Cook?? Yeah, that's my colleague's suggestion. At least I won't have to find a place to bury the fish - just cook and it's settled. Good for people who live in an apartment, where tanah (earth) is scarce. Crazy woman. I don't think I'd be able to do that. Geesh!

I finally decided to get two goldfish last Wednesday. Boy, was I excited. It's funny, considering this is not the first time I have pets. My grandparents had rabbits and cats, a whacky aunt claimed all the cicaks (house lizards) as her pets. I lived with them, so those should also be my pets right? What's yours is mine? Haha! Anyways, I have the aquarium set up that very night and put the fish in. Put little decor items, fed them and went to sleep.

The next morning, I noticed one of the goldfish floating upside down in the water. Yeah, you thought right - it was dead! Guess I really don't have the talent with fish. But at least one was still alive. I should really visit the fish shop and ask for advice.

I was too busy on Thursday, so I only went to the fish shop on Friday morning. Asked the shopkeeper what I should do, bought all the necessary things - new motor, some CO2 measure thingy, and a couple more fish. I went to set things up during lunch time - didn't want to risk the fish dead. So that night, I fell asleep watching thre goldfish swimming in the tank.

Saturday morning, the worst thing happened. All three fish were dead! I cried, and gave up the idea of ever keeping a pet. Maybe I'm not meant to care for anything. At least not pets, not now.


It was only during dinner last night that one friend asked about the fish. She went with me to buy the first two fish last week. And I told her they're dead, so are the other two. She was even more surprised when I told her the fish died overnight. Another friend told me I should get more fish, until one day there will be one that lives longer than a night. According to this friend, the Chinese believes that if I have something evil in my house, the evil will go to the fish. So I'm safe. Like the fish can protect me from evil. Like crystals. But what evil thing? "Your house has been marked - remember the blood trail?" My god, it's not over yet?

Maybe I should start consider buying the 'practical' fish. At least I can give them to my neighbours when they die. I'm sure I'm not going to cook them myself.

But the question is, am I willing to sacrifice lives in order to protect myself?

(Image from http://rlv.zcache.com/lol_dead_fish_tshirt-p235376307614159913clmq_400.jpg)

What forgiveness?

I watched a programme on Sunday named 'Expose Mistik - Kisah Seram'.  I thought they were showing Malaysian ghost stories - always prefer the local version of ghost stories, they're much scarier than the western ones.  But it turned out to show about black magic practices in the Malay world.  According to the host, the Malays and black magic are really inseparable - 'sebati' is the word he used.  They also had an ustaz who explains the views of Islam on this practice.  I'd like to quote some points he mentioned:

 

"God will take back all His blessings to those who practice black magic."

 

According to the ustaz, God gives everyone His blessings from the moment we were born.  But the moment someone practices black magic, even for personal gain, like to get rich or to get love, God will take back all His blessings, one by one.  From all aspects of that person's life - health, family, social, financial, everything!  Even after death, God will still condemn that person.

 

Oh boy, oh boy, wouldn't I'd love to watch how her life is going to be like!  It may take years, but it will happen... for I know God's promises are true.  Even if you don't believe in God, there is such a thing as karma.  Or more simply, I'm sure people won't say this for nothing: "What goes around, comes around".  Familiar?

 

 

"If the black magic is used to cause trouble to others, then God will hate them as much as the people whom they caused trouble to.  God will only forgive them if their victims forgive them."

 

Forgive?  After you messed with my life... and my friends'?  No way!

I don't mind giving stuff away to people.  But not forgiveness, when I had to go through what I had gone through.  All the pain and aches I suffered, the tears I cried, you think I can forgive just like that?  Think again.

 

 

"They always tell people lies about their victims, and they usually sound very convincing that most people would normally believe them."

 

No, this one is not from the ustaz.  It's from a friend, who has been told these lies.  He admitted to believing in some, the first few times he heard them.  But he was smart enough to realize that after some time, the stories got bigger and more ridiculous.  He started to question the people who'd told him these tall stories, and now he can roughly tell which stories are the truth, and which are lies.

 

I pity those who believe in the lies, but at the same time, I wonder how come they are so stupid as to not even try to find out the truth.  Listen to both parties, it's that simple.  But no.  And like that's not enough, these people would voluntarily help spread the lies to others, thus more innocent people get involved.  And these people will again always spread the lies to more people, and the cycle goes on... 

 

Surely the stories are so exciting that they all decided that everyone should know about it?  Have you ever considered that these stories would break someone's heart?  How about considering that person's good name?  Apparently not.  Think about this now - how different are you from the person who came up the lie?  The way I see it: NONE.

I miss the beaches!

I have been thinking of the beaches a lot these days. Heck, I even dream of beaches a few times in the past couple of weeks - clean white sand, beautiful blue-green water, soft wind in my hair, steady rhythm of the waves... bliss!

Who wouldn't love to live at a heavenly place like this?

(Photo from http://hannasyalala.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/dreamland-beach-bali.jpg)

The last time I went to a beach was... last Raya. But that was short trips from one beach to another, sitting in the car and observing how much has changed since the last time we went. No picnic, no running around on the sand, definitely no fun. =(

Growing up in Kuantan, I was spoilt with nature's best gift - the beautiful beaches were only a short drive away. And my dad used to take us to Telok Chempedak every weekend. My sister and I would be busy collecting sea shells or 'durian kartun' - they're really the fruit of she-oak, or pokok ru.  But because they look like tiny versions of durians, that's why we call them like that.  I don't remember what happened to these things we collected, though, can't seem to recall seeing them at home afterwards.  Maybe my mum threw them back at the beach?  Oh well...

Durian kartun

(Picture from http://ms.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fail:YosriPokokRu3.jpg)

One of the most memorable time at the beach was when I was really young, five or six.  We had a family picnic with my grandparents and aunties and uncles and cousins.  Boy, we had so much fun... until my uncle threw me into a pool of jellyfish!  I still remember he asked if I'd like to see jellyfish.  And, being a curious kid, I said 'sure!'.  He carried me on his shoulder, because he said the jellyfish like to sting little kids.  And if I got stung, it's going to be very itchy and soon I'll turn into a jellyfish.  And sure enough, I trusted him.  So when he threw me into the water, my instinct was to run.  I dont' really remember what happened, all I can recall is running towards the beach, have water in my mouth, my lung pained.  Then I saw my mum crying, I was in her arms.  I must have fainted or something.  No wait, I might have drowned a bit.  Sheesh...  Anyways, after that incident, I develop this fear of water.  Up to this day.

But that doesn't make me scared of the beach though.  I look forward to going to beaches - maybe the most excited person in the group!

Who's up for a weekend by the sea?

Friendship

I was rummaging through my documents saved from years ago, and found this poem written by a dear friend.

Very simple yet very meaningful to me.

I'm dedicating this to all my friends, and those who consider themselves my friend (kesian la...):

FRIENDSHIP

Written with a pen

Sealed with a kiss

If you are my friend

Please answer this

Are we friends

Or are we not?

You told me once

But I forgot

So tell me now

And tell me true

So I can say -
'I'm here for you'

Of all the friends

I've ever met

You're the one

I won't forget

And if I die

Before you do

I'll go to heaven

And wait for you

I'll give the angels

Back their wings

And risk the loss

Of everything.

Just to prove

My friendship is true

To have a friend

Just like you!


Image from http://www.hreoc.gov.au/about/competitions/2003/stu8.htm

That flippin' morning

We have this superbly nice tea lady at my office.  Not only she makes us coffee, she also serves the drinks to us - she knows each of our preferences, and she even knows which of the many mugs are ours!  This morning, my nescafe was already on my desk when I got in.  Caffeine in the morning is a blessing for me, since I'm not a morning person.  Never have been, and don't know if I ever will be. 

 

As I reached to grab the mug, the writing on it caught my attention:
"I don't get it.  You put your head on the pillow for five minutes and the next thing you know... it's the flippin' morning AGAIN.  What's goin' on? ZZZzzz"

 

My gosh!  I have been using this very mug for a few months, saw the statement, but never felt so 'connected'.  I guess I have never been really, really sleepy like today.

 

Turned in late last night, almost 1.30am - went for dinner with my mum and a friend.  It was supposed to be a brief meeting, but it lasted til past midnight.  Who would have thought those two contrasting characters would click so well?  (Note to self:  Next time, only have dinner with these two on weekends.)

 

When I got home, I remember lying on the bed, and the next thing I know, the alarm went off! 
I take it as a good change for my week-long staggering sleep habit.  Been waking up every hour since last week, which sure enough affected my bp.  I wasn't surprised that I fainted Wednesday morning.  But my doctor did and, well... that's a different story.

 

I purposely put the mug next to my screen, and laugh everytime I get to read the statement - at least I won't fall asleep while typing, I hope!

Are You Rich Enough?

Saw this article in Malaysia's Cleo magazine (October 2009 issue) last night:

My say:
I sooo totally agree with David Smeidt (the columnist) - he deserves better!

What a shallow-thinking kugel. And a control freak, too, for wanting to change that guy into becoming someone he's not! Gosh, how can anyone be so selfish to even think that?

Are money and ambitions the only things that make people happy? I'd say NO.

Of course, I agree that money is necessary when it comes to starting a family, buying a house, et cetera, but it’s not everything. Gosh, I really don’t know how to put my opinions in words when it comes to these kinda things. It’s just…. That’s it. Money isn’t everything – there are many more things more important, like love, respect and loyalty.

Sure, I used to want to marry someone rich and young and handsome. Hecks, I still tell everyone that the most important thing a guy should have to win my heart is money. But honestly, it’s not. That’s just something I say to get away from people trying to set me up with a stranger – I love surprises, but not blind dates!

I guess being given the chance to meet a single person who fulfilled ALL my ‘Mr Perfect’ criteria made me learn to accept everyone for who they are. My ‘Mr Used-To-Be-Perfect’ was all I asked for – tall, dark, (not-so-strikingly) handsome, funny, (not too) muscular, sensitive, artistic, bla, bla, bla…. I forgot what other things I listed - it was a really long list, I tell you! But that guy came with something else – jealousy, with a capital J. He couldn’t stand me hanging out with my guy pals everyday, which was really unfair since I was in Engineering Faculty and he lived a few hundred kilometres away. Of course I could lepak with only girl friends, but I’d like to play sports and have study groups with my guy friends too. Believe me, being around women all the time doesn’t do you good. You need that change in atmosphere once in a while. And you need that opportunity to be able to swear all you want, and still be the prettiest-looking in the group.

Anyways, I'm sure everyone can already figure out what happened in the end – we broke up. Funny thing is, I was very angry then, so I didn’t cry. When I realized what happened, I was already over him. So I never cried for losing that guy who’s supposed to be the perfect male creature. (Is that normal? Help!)

That experience made me realize that no matter how perfect you think someone is, he/she is still human. And no human being is perfect. In fact, the more perfect you think someone is, the more weaknesses you’ll realize that person has. It’s the balance of nature; it's that simple. It’s up to you whether you can handle the reality of finding out these
weaknesses, and whether you can accept them. I learnt my lesson ten years ago – I couldn’t handle it.

So now I accept people for who they are. No high expectations. As long as you’re not too old or too young (hint… hint…!), I’m fine. As long as you respect me and not too clingy, and I can tolerate your weirdness, that’s ok. If you’re good-looking
or rich, that’s great. If you’re both, yeay! Just as long as you’re human and as long as you can take me for who I am.

Back to the article:
So guys, if you're sweet, quite good-looking, don't have a lot of money and isn't very ambitious (ahem, the first two criteria can be omitted if not necessary), and yuor girlfriend is always curious on your future plans, or her friends are always asking what would you do if you're no longer able to do what you're doing now, then take charge - dump the kugel! Unless if you're the dumb one, that is, willing to spend the rest of your life as her slave, obeying to all her rules... She's only after your money, that's her only turn-on; not your personality, not YOU.


p/s: Kugel is a slang word for ‘materialistic, shallow, I-think-I'm-too-hot-for-anyone bitch’. Thanks Naeema for that - saves a mouthful. (I wonder when she’s gonna start teaching me Afrikaan again?)

Dead, but Alive

I was waiting at a traffic light when I saw a cat's carcass on the curb. Poor thing, its head was on the curb, and its butt and tail on the road. That must have hurt even for something dead. To add to its suffering, it was very hot and the person who put it there had put the cat on its back!


Feeling sorry for the cat, I thought of moving it. But the thought of stinky bacteria made me cancel. And I was glad I didn't proceed. Because at that moment the cat suddenly turned its head, and... Thud! The stocky body fell on the road altogether! Then it got up, put its head against the curb and dozed off again!

My gosh, the cat was only sleeping! Haaaha! Under the hot sun, in that awkward position - it must be really tired and sleepy! Haaaha, again! I laughed so hard, I didn't realize the lights turned green!

This incident reminded me of a video (www.youtube.com/watch?v=f44MVnH0h20) I received. You gotta watch this! And keep an eye on the guy in yellow t-shirt! ROFL!

Not Venus for me, thanks!

I overheard a girl excitedly telling her friend that a guy told her "You remind me of Venus". Another pick-up line, I bet. But that naive girl, poor thing, was all out about it - must think the guy meant it. She's rather pretty, and if I'm in any western countries, I'd say he only wants to get in her pants. But since I'm in Malaysia, maybe that's not entirely true. But who knows... Malaysia boleh, remember?

Seeing the girl so excited about being compared with Venus made me wonder what's so good about it. Sure, Venus is the symbol of beauty and lust, and I'm sure that's what most people know. That's all. What they don't know is the other things about Venus, which I'm sure, when they do, they would prefer to stay away from her. Or at least, their parents would like them to.

Want to know more about Venus? Here goes...

Venus, or Aphrodite (her Greek counterpart), is the daughter of one of the gods, with no mother. Or her mom is the ocean. You see, her dad's private part was cut and dropped into the ocean. From this, the ocean bubbled and she was created. Hurmm, maybe that's why people think bubble baths are sexy? Another link to Venus?

Anyways, like what everybody knows, Venus is said to be the most beautiful creature ever existed. And so, all the male gods wanted to have her. Typical men! To avoid war amongst the gods, Jupiter (or Zeus to the Greeks) married Venus to Vulcan, the God of Works.  He is the blacksmith of the gods, and is the least-threatening of all the gods.  Maybe because of this, Venus thinks her husband is lame and so she had an affair with Mars (Ares).  Mars is the God of War, so maybe he's supposed to be the most macho guy.  They have 2 children, but I don't remember their names.  Venus' husband, upon finding out about her affair, locked her up.  He even put a guard to make sure Venus wouldn't be able to run away and see her boyfriend.  But Venus offered to sleep with the guard in exchange for her freedom.  She also has affairs with other gods and men.

No you see why I said not all's is good about Venus?  Sure she makes all men fall in love with her.  And she can control the hearts of those who are in love.  But she's not loyal.  Heck, she's a slut!  Believe me, I'd rather be compared to other goddesses than this one!  So what other goddess are there?  Let me just use their Greek name so it's easier to remember.  Okay, I'll put their Roman names in bracket, if I know of any.

Pallas-Athena (Minerva), Goddess of Wisdom, War and Domestic Arts
She was the daughter of Zeus, from no mother.  It was said that she sprang out of Zeus' head - He had a terrible headache and decided to split his head in two (guess this is where 'splitting-headache' comes from).  Out came Athena, full grown, and in full armour.
She was said to be one of the wisest of the gods; brave and ambitious too.  Because of the knowledge, she is said to have invented the bridle, chariot, flute, trumpet, ship and many others.  In war, she is very brave and fierce, but she only fights in wars to protect Greece from outside invaders.
Athena is not the original 12 Olympian Gods, but she claimed a throne for herself and got one.

Artemis (Diana), Goddess of Wilderness and Huntsmen
Artemis has a twin brother, Apollo, and they are often related to the Sun (Apollo) and the Moon (Artemis herself).  She carries a silver bow all the time.  She is described to be vengeful, aloof and impulsive.  She is also the protector of young girls, until when the girls get married.

Hera (Juno), Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth
The wife and sister of Zeus, God of the Heaven - tricked into marriage is more like it.  Her skin has fragrant smell, and she has big eyes.  Spends most of her time punishing women, goddesses and other female creatures who have affairs with her husband - often described as overly jealous because of this.  Can't help to have such a miang keladi as a husband, huh?  But she is such a loyal wife, and could never hurt the husband.

Rhea, Mother of all gods and goddess
Wife of Cronus (Uranus) and Queen of the Titans.  Titans were the original ruler of heaven (before the Olympians) until Cronos was defeated by Zeus - sad, but silly story behind this.  She is gentle and loving.  Her name has a meaning that makes people relate it to the menstrual blood - I don't know what the meaning is, and I don't think I want to know.

Ceres (Demeter), Goddess of Harvest
Her name is teh origin for the word 'cereal' - get the picture?  Very clever!  Not much I know about her, except that she saved a city from famine.  She is the mother is Persephone (Porserpina), the Queen of the Underworld.  She loves her daughter too much, that when Hades (Pluto) kidnapped her, Ceres cursed all plants in the Underworld to die - thus our present image of the Underworld.

Hestia (Vesta), Goddess of the Hearth and Home
She is the eldest sister to Zeus, Hera and Ceres.  One of the first original Olympian, but chose to give up her throne when Athena made a claim to reside amongst them - no war or even argument for this, phew!  Imagine if Athena had to fight for one!  Because of her retreat, there is minimum mention of her in Greek myths and stories.  However, she is worshipped at every Greek home.  She is the first to get any sacrifices, and all babies are presented to her first before these babies are welcomed in the family.  I have no idea how they present the babies - carry the babies around the fire, maybe?  She is described to make decisions that will prevent war or argument.





You see, the funny thing about Greek gods and goddesses are, they're not perfect.  At least, not as perfect as what I thought deities would be.  Then again, these are creation of human themselves, and just like human, they are bound to have weaknesses.  Of all the goddesses I admire Hestia the most.  For willing to sacrifice her own needs and interest in order to prevent arguments.  If only everyone is like this, then we'd definitely have heaven on earth!

And, despite her decision to give up her throne in Olympia, all the people of Greece still worship her.  She is in fact the most worshipped in Greece!  Easy to deduce this - all the gods and goddesses have their own city, where the people of these cities worship a particular god or goddesses.  But, in addition to the the city's deity, they all still worship Hestia to keep their family safe.  Popular without being a drama queen - my kind of hero!  Urmm... heroine, I mean.

I guess there are other things that made me admire her - other similarities.  She's the eldest and youngest child of Cronos - the first to be born, then Cronos swallowed all his kids (except Zeus), and was the last to be spitted back out by her father.  In my case, I'm the eldest daughter to my parents, but I was treated like the youngest child when I lived with my grandparents.  Then, Hestia is often pictured as overweight.  No need to elaborate on this, right?  Haaha.

Okay, that's enough.  I'm starting to feel uncomfortable comparing myself with a goddess.  Let me go wash my face or something first.

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All images downloaded from http://www.theoi.com/