I wonder if I should feel pissed at myself, or should I find something else to blame. I haven't been able to sleep well for as long as I can remember, but hardly ever it's because I'm worried over anything. Always, it's because of the dreams I have. Dreams that are usually rather scary, obviously impossible to happen in my REAL life, caused me to wake up screaming and remember them for days!
And last night's dream is one of these...
I was sitting in a room with three women, facing what looked like a Japanese-sliding door. Saw an image of a green dragon on the door panes up to the ceiling. It was a beautiful piece of art, but I was constantly thinking about what I was doing there. Then a woman's voice called out 'Emperor's Women' - HUH??? Before I could think of what the phrase meant, somebody ran out of the room towards me, looking furious. I had a feeling that I was the target of that attack. Luckily, one of the women dragged me out.
Outside of the room, I realized that I was at the top floor of a very tall building. Saw fire burning on the ground below, and funny enough, I think the fire spiraled the building upwards - like an enraged fire dragon. All four of us (I was with three other women, remember?) ran towards the staircase. One of the women slipped and fell towards the ground. Despite the gruesome image that went through my mind, I kept running.
A few levels below, there was a crowd queuing up to go downstairs. This must be the most popular floor, or at least the highest level that the public are allowed to go because I haven't seen anyone on the higher levels. Guards were everywhere, scanning each of the people up and down. I heard somebody yelled and saw the guards running towards me (again??). Obviously, I was wanted for something terrible. And, again, the same lady who dragged me out of the room earlier snatched a baby from one of the women there and pushed the mother down the stairs. The guards suddenly changed their focus to the falling woman. My lady saviour asked me to hold the baby and stay away from her -- if we were together, the guards would find me. Something like that.
So I went on my own, still clutching the baby all the way down. Got to the ground floor, but I couldn't find the way out. So I decided to go back one level up. Managed to slip through the guards, thanks to the commition. Got to the first floor, but there were still no exit. I went to other levels, climb up and down the stairs a few times to get out. A few times I saw something outside the windows (or rather, small holes on the staircase wall that separated me from freedom!) - like a big, long rope on fire floating around the tower. Something in my head said "The fire dragon is here; it's here!", and I felt excited everytime I saw it -- like I was about to meet my biggest idol! It was a magnificent sight, I could see outlines of the scales as it flew close to the window. The flame was brighter than day, but I felt cool, like gusts of wind surrounding me, everytime it was close.
I lost count how many times I climbed up and down the stairs, but after waking up at 5.35 a.m. (and fell back asleep), I found myself looking at the tower entrance from the outside. I don't know how I managed to get out, but was glad that I finally did. The baby was still in my arms, sleeping peacefully. I looked up, saw the Fire Dragon hovering above my head like it was watching over me from all the strange and dangerous people.
The moment I woke up for the last time, I felt really relaxed.
