Sleep is the best thing to do... really!

Had a great session of aromatherapy massage last night, that i slept as soon as i put my head on the pillow. This morning, as i rushed to get ready to work, i realize it was already 1.30 pm! Whoa, another emergency leave for me today. Which means another chance for my boss to flip!

Oh, well, on the bright side, this means i can join the 5 o'clock belly dance class.~grin~

Save not, want not

My laptop crashed last week, and I was quick to get a new set as replacement. It has always been that for me - once something of mine gones wrong, I would always find a replacement. No repair works. Just throw away the old one, or pass it to someone. I spent an entire afternoon surveying for laptops, and have actually decided which one. The only reason I still haven't bought it is because the model I wanted is out of stock.


That very night - last night, I saw something interesting in a parking lot near the yoga studio I go to:






As soon as I saw this, I felt like someone had just slapped me in my face! I mean, there I was looking forward for a new laptop, and someone hangs on to this piece of junk to take him to places! I felt so ashamed, and, well, sort of changed my mind about the laptop - I'm gonna keep my laptop until the day it can no longer do anything for me.

My laptop, and other stuff I have, will from now on be treasured...

Free parking, anyone?

Another Monday morning... means, another week of queueing up to get parking. Wait, did I say GET pariing? I mean ENTER the car park! Yep, you need to wait to get access into the car park - talk about torture!

Honestly, I'm still a bit surprise that I can actually wait, because I'm never known for my patience. I remember my ex-boss always told me "patience, Hani. Be patient"... I guess her constant reminder actually sticks. At the backest back of my mind. Yeah, it's quite obvious I'm trying so hard to not admit it, ain't?

I know it's a virtue and all, but here people who waits for free parking are mostly linked to stinginess. I can actually choose to not wait, but then I'll have to pay RM7 per entry. Sorry, I'm not paid enough to waste money on parking! So there goes, I'd rather wait...

...
...
...

Well, finally it's my turn! After 1 hour and 8 minutes of waiting. Of course, this is not the longest waiting time. A few weeks ago I waited for over 2 hours! When I finally got into the office, my colleagues actually cheered. (yeah, we try beat each other's waiting time everyday!)

Alright, I should stop now. The lady in the car behind has started going nuts!

I guess waiting isn't so bad afterall, at least I can update my blog. =)

~honking in the background~
Alright, lady, chill!

Ghost Hunter

Had another weird dream last night...

I was a chubby Chinese girl, about 6 to 8 years old. Live in a quite busy town, where there were shops all around. Many old-style cars, and lorries and most of the shops have blinds at the front. I was with my grandmother, helping her out to buy and carry groceries. Don't ask me why, but I had a small scissors in my right hand.

After some time, the basket I was holding got very heavy, so I put it down. I noticed the scissors was bent at the handle, so I tried to straighten it. It was then that I noticed a guy squatting across the street, gnawing at the chicken that was supposed to be served for the gods. I remember asking myself, whether that guy knew that he's eating the god's food? Whether he knew that the gods would be mad at him for doing what he did? I also remembered wanting a piece of the chicken - it sure did look delicious! But, afraid that my grandmother would get angry, I just didn't do anything. Guess my grandmother is more fierce than the gods! LOL!

I then noticed my grandmother went into a clothes shop, so I went in too. I saw a very pretty blouse. It was white and long, with blue flowers all over. I loved most the softness of it, I wanted to hold it forever! And the lady at the shop was so nice, she actually took the blouse down from the hanger and let me hold it. She even told me she'll keep the blouse for me until I grow up, so I can buy and wear it. I remember feeling so happy, and can't wait to grow up!

Then my grandmother called me, and I followed her again. I tried straightening the scissors again. Managed to straighten the handle, but now I bent the blades. Oh well, I guess I will be able to straighten it later. And I tried so hard, my fingers hurt. I might have bled my fingers even, that's why I walked up to my grandmother to ask for a hanky.

Suddenly, I saw a head 'hanging' on the balcony. It was a gruesome, for the face looked like a ghost. The guy's eyes rolled up and the mouth was opened. I screamed and ran towards my grandmother, only to have the guy, whose head was scaring me, blocked my way. He was very angry, he grabbed me and spun me around. I saw chicken wing in his hand, and realized this was the same guy stealing the chicken from across the street! After that, I have this feling that this guy was actually a ghost!

So, the next thing I know, I was running as fast as I could. Noticed the scissors had completely broken to pieces, and I was holding the handle on my right hand, the pieces of the blades in my left. I had no idea where the grocery basket was, nor my grandmother. I simply ran...

After a moment, I turned back and saw this ghost guy closing in on me. I was desperate, so I threw the broken blades to him and he bled! But then he grabbed me and I stabbed him with the scissors handles over and over...

The next thing I know, I was sitting with some kids, a guy sitting in front us. He said something, but I can't recall what it was about. Then he asked us line up so we can pay respect to somebody. I did, but before I got in the line, I noticed it was me in the picture!

My gosh! I died, killed by a ghost!
The shock was too much that I woke up screaming!
How terrible, terrible that was! ~sweat!~

Crash and Burn

Great! Just great! My life has been a series of unfortunate events since November.
Everywhere I turn there's always something happening that, of course, are not in favour for me.

Let see:

November 2008
1. My dad fell ill.
2. Went to see him one weekend, had to sleep on the hospital floor (they ran out of extra bed!).
3. As a result I fell sick!

December 2008
1. Plans for my company's audit changed so many times, thanks to my stupid bosses who couldn't make up their minds. And, the auditors got so pissed at ME!
2. Had to go to Melaka on 2 hours notice.
3. Had to pay extra for the accommodation in Melaka. My company is willing to pay so much, and all that was available was waaaayyyyy more than that amount! (Of course I had to pay the extra with my own money, haven't you been paying attention?)
4. My car wouldn't start one night, so I had to walk home. At midnight!

January 2009
1. Got turned down for a manager's post (again, fourth time since 2008).
2. A crazy bitch slapped me in a car park.
3. My car got followed one night, up until my condo's car park. (What's with January and car park, by the way?)
4. Told my mom about being followed, she ordered a new car for me. Told me about it like she's just ordered fried noodle for dinner!

February 2009
-- Nothing I wanna share, let's cool down a bit - it's my birthday month. --

March 2009
1. Injured my hamstring during yoga class - had to stop for 1 month!
2. Got called up by the boss becuase someone reported to him I haven't been in the office for 2 weeks! That bloody bastard, I was away on meetings!
3. My boss wanted me to produce proof that I have to go for rehab treatment for my hamstring, or I'm gonna have to write in a 'show-cause' letter! Imagine this, a doctor's letter for EVERY session!

April 2009
1. My transfer application got rejected, by these selfish people called my bosses.
2. A nutcase of a bitch started calling, asking me to stay away from this guy. Well, I got these calls since 2007, but on-and -off. This one's persistent!
3. Invited to go to a workshop in Penang. My manager wanted to go too, but the big boss only let one of us go. He decided to go, at first, but after knowing what we're expected to do, he let me go. And I had less than 3 hours to book ticket, pack and catch the flight!

May 2009
1. Whoa... the stalker wouldn't stop calling! She got more histerical now since I kept ignoring her calls.
2. This stalker bitch called 11 times during a meeting and pissed all the clients and bosses. Sure enough, I got the warning from my boss.
3. Told the guy I'm supposed to 'stay away' from, and he said: "disregard...". Sure darling, I'll tell the bitch to start calling your sis. How about that?!
4. Applied for transfer, again, and got turned down, again!

June 2009
1. Lost all data in my phone - emails, contacts, messages!
2. An old friend told me there's a rumour going around that I had an abortion! Now that's a BIG HAAAHA!
3. Got an allergic reaction to something - my entire chest is red and itchy for days!
4. Helped a friend to buy new iTalk, but ended up crashing my phone config.
5. Splashed water onto my laptop and it's gone bonkers <<< this just happened about 2 hours ago!

Whoa, over 20 in less than a year! That's gotta be a record!
And those are just the major ones, which I remember!

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true...

For some reason I have this song playing in my head all morning.
Not sure why, but I guess this is one of those moments that I wish I can get away from reality, you know, live in the dream. My dreamland.

Strange as it is, my dreamland has was never the fairy tale like most people have. Never, I dreamt of knight in the shining armour. Perhaps that's because I'm a practical person? Or because I've been 'exposed' to the real life a little too early.

You see, my dream has always been to be surrounded by many children. Knowing 'men' is not my best department, I guess these children would be orphans... wait, let me re-phrase: Knowing I suck most when it comes to 'men'... yep, that's more like it. Well, I have always wanted to own an orphanage. Giving to those in need has always been my calling. And I think it's best to give to children. I mean, adults should be able to work or at least take care of themselves. The children on the other hand, are very vulnerable and, well, they just deserve to be protected.

I have always wanted this. I remember when I went to a convention and was told about these deBrabender (I think that's what they're called) who own their own orphanage in Africa, I got really jealous. No, well, just a bit, I guess. But that time I felt like part of my dream came true. That it can actually be done. I still remember that feeling I had in my heart. That wonderful feeling. Of course I have to be filthy rich first. =(

Great, now I wish someone RICH would be willing to marry me and let me live my life-long dream. Knowing myself, and how I look like, this man would have to be blind. And deaf too, otherwise he'll find me very boring for I don't talk much. Wait, maybe I should find an invalid. But then it would be too obvious that I only want his money. >:)

Yeah, so much for that. Back to reality, I'll just have to work my ass out for that money. And with how much I'm earning, I guess that will forever be a dream. OK, now I'm actually hoping that someone is reading this and give me some miracle. A white knight perhaps? Haaaha! Really, I have only 'seen' a knight one time, when someone read to me something that sounds like 'strong are those who are loved, brave are those who love'. I don't know what would caused me to conjure up that image. Well, I guess if you picture the 'strong, courageous and love' together, that's what you get.

Lucky for someone to be able to feel that. To love, and be loved. Wonder when will I have a chance for that. All this while, the guys I've fallen for will be running as fast and as far away as from me. No matter how 'in love' they pretend to be at first, once I start to show signs that I like them, it just stops. THEY stop. Seriously! Not like I wish they'd be on their knees in front of everybody, nor tell everyone that they're with this fat girl, just letting me know that they care for me is good enough. I guess there's no love for fat girls afterall.

Now, I think I should stop. I really should get back to reality, and back to work!

Itchy!

Woke up this morning with such a terrible feeling... the itch on my chest is worse than ever and the redness has spread.
Went to office and was agitated all morning. A colleague noticed and tried to look concern, but as soon as she saw the blotches she laughed and said, "looks like someone's been naughty all weekend!" What an inconsiderate, dirty-minded bitch! I mean, I'm suffering here and all she thinks about is making out! Pretty soon, the entire female population in the office were teasing me. ='(
By 10am I couldn't stand the itch anymore, so I went to the nearest clinic. And found out that these are allergic reaction, and it's spread to my back! What the doctor couldn't tell me was what I'm allergic to. Guess I will have to change everything I put on my skin again. And that means my sisters are gonna have to help my finish my current stock of soap, lotion and detergent - lucky for me they haven't been complaining.

Ouch, ouch, OUCH! O dear, o dear, what should I do? This itch is getting worse by the minute. Apparently the med didn't work! Perhaps I should try get a nap. But what if that doesn't help?

Maybe I should have a skin transplant or something? Get a more robust set? Hecks, is there even such a thing?

- 3 things -

I only have 3 things going on in my mind all day:

1. I wanna go to London to get those 'hard-to-find' clothing - my friends know so well what I'm talking about.

2. Somebody please stop this itchiness on my chest - couldn't slee all night last night because of it =(

3. This one... well, I'd rather keep this on to myself ~grin~

So that's it. Nothing much happened all day except visiting my colleague at her new house, wasting time and money at the warehouse sale, and spending time with a good friend. And the three things, of course.

Sappy...

Today's been quite a day...

Came home late last night, or rather, early morning, hanging out with a friend. Had a hilarious time laughing at this image I kept picturing of her. ROFL!

Went home and slept all the way til past noon. Then rushed to a friend's wedding in... well... a place which seemed like a different country. I went alone, and maybe because of that all the aunties gave me a look and kept asking why I went alone - talk about how people can get very annoying!
Stayed there for exactly 17 minutes, then got back to KL. Met up with a friend I haven't seen in a week, and she decided we should watch 17 Again. My first thought: Chic flick? Again?

Went along anyway, and I'm glad I did. Had a good time watching Zac Efron dance, and laughed at his idea of K. Federline being 'hip and in'. And his best friend cum 'dad' trying to win the Principle's heart. And the Elven language... HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

A good movie, I'd say. Amazingly, despite the comedy, I cried halfway through the movie. Something the actor was saying about his daughter... Don't remember exactly what he said, but it made me think about my own parents, and how much I miss them! And he said it with such feeling, like he's been there...

O well, better stop or I might risk crying again. Seriously, as far as I remember, I have only cried once watching a movie. It was a scene where a boy was running after someone (his dad or brother), and this someone was actually going off on a journey where he ends up dead. That and when I watched the 'Passion of Christ', when they tortured Jesus right in front of his mother. OK, so that's twice I cried, watching movies. In 28 years.

Really, I'm gonna stop here. Feels like there's something in my chest. Like I'm gonna burst into tears again.
(Where's my EPO? ...and when will I meet my Mark Gold?)

Black Chakra

Yep, this is the second post for today.
Which means today is a very-not-productive day at the office.


Had an experience yesterday during yoga class. Afraid people might call me crazy if I tell them, so I'm writing this down - just have to let it out!


Been practicing yoga for slightly over a year now - on and off. I thought I'm more into spiritual aspect of it. Started yoga to learn meditation, afterall. But now I'm not so sure what my strength is... not even sure if I have one.

I was in relaxation class, so obviously I started to get in the mood to 'watch my thoughts'. The room, which was very chilly suddenly turned warm. Warm like the air-cond had suddenly been turned off. As just as I started to enjoy them warmth, I heard a whisper in my right ear - "black chakra".

That sure distracted me, so I decided to stay clear of meditating zone. No, actually, it scared the crap out of me!

After class, I asked my instructor what a black chakra is, and he said he's never heard of such thing! Well, I was quite disappointed with the way he looked at me when he said it, and to top it, he seems like he was trying to get as far away as he can from me. So much for someone who's been telling me to stay positive - think positive, talk positive, yada, yada...

Went home (in disappointment) and googled for, what else, "black chakra". Found out it's the 12th chakra, the highest level. It the energy of the Tao, a.k.a. the Void. It's supposed to represent Pre-creation, gives a feeling of just Being (warm, velvet, black) - is that the warmth I felt before the whisper? Take a look at what it is at these pages:
http://www.think-aboutit.com/Spiritual/THEUPPERCHAKRAS.htm
http://www.colorhealing.com/articles/lookchakras.htm

Definitely waaaayyyy to advanced for me!

My gosh, what have I gotten myself into? Have I put myself in a place where I'm not ready for? On my own, now that even my teacher doesn't know about it?

Can I turn back now?

Warrior Queen...?

Seriously, I always thought the ‘Debut’ is going to be the only post in this blog.
Who would have thought, I managed to find time and idea to write today?
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Had a gruesome dream last night, or rather, very early this morning. Its all bits and pieces now, though:
Saw people celebrating my dad…
…
…
…
Someone started to wreck havoc in the city/town/area…
…
…
…
I went into a room with 6 or 7 strangers for protection. My sisters followed me, couldn’t see my parents anywhere. The strangers looked at us with all kinds of expression – one lady looked disgusted, a couple looked relieved, someone was excited, a guy looked like he had something up his sleeve in store for us!
…
…
…
Somebody passed an arrow to me – too short for my arms. Then I got the bow – way too simple than the ones I normally use, almost like the ones I saw in Robin Hood movies. But it worked nonetheless, even better! I put an arrow through a guy outside of the room. Great, now I’m a murderer! If only I get paid for doing that, I’m so gonna charge a big sum of money… then I can retire easy…

Ok, back to the dream:
Someone in the room got shot in the torso – so much blood! After that I kept killing more and more people. All I thought was to protect myself and my sisters, but after a while I started enjoying it! (what’s that supposed to mean?)

Then, more blanks…
…
…
…
A child from the enemy’s side went into my room. I was so scared, I stabbed a fork into his shoulder blade. More blood… and now I’m a child’s murderer…
…
…
…
All the dead people outside disappeared. After a while they came walking in single file on the road outside, carrying candles. They looked so serene, I only felt fear. Now that I think about it, I’m jealous! These ‘undead’ came to my room, smiled at me and made me felt like I won. Saw my mom running towards me, with my youngest sister. No idea how she got out. My other sister had an arrow in her leg. I had one through my right arm – does that mean I'm died? Or is it really a victory?

I heard a humming sound on my left …

Dang, it’s the alarm!