My mind has been a series of "blanks" for a few days, a definite sign that I have over used my body. Tried to get rest, but somehow I just couldn't fall asleep. So on Friday night, I went to a nearby cinema and asked for a ticket for one, to whatever movie they're showing next. What got was a ticket to the "Up in the Air". I was quite disappointed to find out it's a romantic comedy; never a big fan of this genre especially when my body is as good as a soggy rag. To realize I had to wait almost 2 hours before it starts... now that's the ultimate test! I decided to wait for the movie anyway – mostly because I paid for the ticket.
The movie is about a guy (played by George Clooney), whom I would define as a "detachment expert". He works for a company that 'eases the burden of employers in terminating their staff'. Actually, his company provides sort-of encouragement and support to staff that are let go but that comes after telling them that they're fired. Because his clients are all over the States, Ryan Bingham, lives on possessions limited by what he can fit into his suitcase – no big stuff or unnecessary commitments, all you need is the life's bare necessities. (But he owns the Airlines graphite VIP card, duh!). He met a woman, fell in love and breaks his own rules on commitment, only to find out that the woman already has a family. What crushes him the most is that he's just a 'parentheses' in her life (or maybe that's what crushed ME the most!). So in the end, he's back to living by his 'suitcase'.
On the way home 'til the rest of the night, I couldn't stop thinking about the relevance of the movie with my life. Materially, I'm pretty sure I can't live by limited number of items. Although that'd be a good idea, considering all the debts I can relief off my shoulder. It's the human aspect that I was concerned about. I thought mostly of the people I've into my life; my suitcase. Where some of them are now – at the bottom of the bag where I hardly reach out for, in the main compartment where I stash most of the stuff – abundant but insignificant, the front pockets for little less necessary things, or the side pockets where I can access them most quickly. Also, those I decided to stash out entirely, dropping them out of my life altogether. Those who are still in the bag, with their expectations and issues; how useful they have been and how sometimes the have weighed me down. And in turn, how much have I contributed to them all – have I been a good friend, or am I even worthy to be called one? How long will I hold onto them, keep them in the bag – my life?
And if anyone considers me a parentheses in their life? That I'm there when they need me, but they can ignore me when they don't need the 'supporting evidence'. If I would regard anyone as parentheses in my own life? I don't know. Honestly, I don't dare to answer this. I think it's too cruel to take anyone for granted, to call them an appendix. For everyone has given something to me, left a foot print in my life. Whatever the effects are to me – good or bad, I have grown because of them. I am here because I have known these people, and I have learnt from them.
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