WTF?

My teachers kept reminding me that things will not change unless YOU change. And so I have been living my life accepting changes with an open mind. Changes for the better, that is.

What happened this morning was something completely ridiculous; that throws all those advices about change right into the toilet bowl. Something that I never thought possible to exist in the shrewedest mind. But it does.

You see, I had a 'heart-to-heart' talk with a couple of people, and we appointed a mediator to make sure things don't go overboard. The session is to basically throw any dissatisfaction in the open and sort out our differences. What people don't like about me is that I email my 'orders' first, then only talk to them. Or so they say. Later, they started questioning my emails; that I was being 'inhuman'. They want me to call for meetings more frequently, meet the people, sort of connect with them.

I tried to explain that I prefer that they have everything ready first - take a look at the forms, etc so when I explain, they can quickly grasp the idea. That I email because that can be used as evidence, considering the company is ISO certified. That the meetings don't help because most of the time (even during this session), half of them won't turn up.

After some time, the mediator started to take side - against me! Why she did that, I don't know. And I'm not gonna speculate although honestly, I have so many ideas going through my head. Struggling to be calm, I explained the actions.

They kept saying "It's not how we do things here. You can do that to your 27,000 staff in your company, but we refuse to do it here".

So I recalled the famous saying I heard so often in school. A hadith from Prophet Muhammad, about improvements can only be achieved if you change. I thought, since they all claimed to be religious, the would consider this - hey, it's something from the Prophet...

But I thought wrong. Stupidly, completely wrong. I was too young to give that kind of advice. I'm not religious enough to quote the 'sacret' advice of the Prophet. Their Prophet (wtf?)

And they started reminding me that I'm an outsider. That I'm not the company's staff. Thanks, I've never forgotten that. And I remember being assigned here to give advice on business process improvement. What I ended up with was doing clerical works, because nobody is capable of doing them.

I have proposed so many changes, but nothing was done. (And they dared to question what have I contributed to help them?) Their excuse (as in the management team): these people are not mature enough compared to where I come from. Well, hello, how do you expect people to grow if you underestimate your own people? And, how can you claim to be world-class leader if you can't even provide evidence when I ask for one - all directions must be done verbally, remember?

In the end, they wanted me to follow their way of doing things. The same method that's cost them billions in losses. Funny, they hired me to improve the business but they don't wanna change? What the fuck did you hire me for, assholes? (Wait, hired? They don't pay me a single cent!)

Clearly nothing is going to happen, so I'm not gonna waste anymore of my time. I will leave as soon as my tenure expires, which is in July. And until then, I would just talk. That's what being human is about to them afterall. That's what concern them the most.

All talks and get nothing done.