A Cry For Help!

"Would a woman be treated with more respect if she were married?"

This question, I asked a couple of male friends and they both agreed that it's quite true but not out of respect for that woman rather it's for the husband. My initial reaction was, naturally, anger and frustration. I'm not a feminist but I sense discrimination here! But I'll let this pass for now, as discrimination is not my focus here.

I'm writing this as a written proof on this harassment that I have to endure.

You see, I signed up for an exchange programme amongst some companies. The aim is to basically develop my managerial skills and prepare myself for higher positions. The organizer hires a consultant to help all participants. We are given trainings and a few one-to-one personal mentoring sessions.

During one of the training sessions, I came early without having breakfast. I got at the training venue and saw the maintenance staff / caterers preparing to serve food, so I asked to have some. The consultant saw this and asked me if he could take some from my plate. Considering it was no harm, I said sure, and he picked at my food before I managed to put my plate on the table - I was still holding the plate.

During training, we had short breaks and he offered to get me coffee, in front of all other participants. One of them pointed out, in an annoyed tone, that it's not fair that only I was offered coffee while the others had to get their own.

On the last day of training, we were asked to do role-play on effective listening, and each of us were video-taped. The consultant commented on our reactions, and he mentioned that I look pretty when I smile. Again, I thought of no harm, although I didn't like that comment - I really didn't look good and everyone else agreed I look better without a goofy grin.

I remember the consultant giving examples on relationships to most cases that he lectured about - personal relationship, courting, marriages, those that are not related to career development. At that time I thought he was just lonely, knowing he's divorced and all, so I paid no attention. Another participant asked what was wrong with him and his relationship examples, and the consultant rambled about something. I didn't pay attention so I can't recall what his answers were.

One afternoon, the consultant left a message in my mailbox, asking me to call him back because of something important. I did, thinking it's business. I found out later that he had two tickets to a Jazz Show and wanted me to join him. I was pissed at his 'it's important' message and pointed it out, but he claimed that it IS important to him. I declined, thanks for that migraine I had since morning.

The next day I had to attend a one-to-one personal mentoring session with the consultant. During this session, he admitted to admire me. He started talking about wanting to take me somewhere and just talk... and figuring out what is it about me that had attracted him. All the while I fidgeted in my chair, clearly not comfortable. But he was so absorbed in that topic that he didn't notice, or didn't care. Again, I felt sorry for that old man, and still had the respect for him, so I kept quiet and waited until he finished.

The next mentoring session, I arrived late because I was caught up with another meeting at my office. Another participant was there when I arrived, so the conversation was strictly business. After that, he brought us for lunch in Suria KLCC (it was Madam Kwan's, I think) and I pretended to be immersed in my food. So the consultant was talking to the other participant most of the time. I overheard him mentioning that he's looking for a girlfriend, or someone to go out with, and how he plans to take the relationship to the next stage and so on... I felt queasy having to go through this topic again so I concentrated hard on my food and surroundings.

The last session I went was the week after Chinese New Year. Again, he shared his feelings, and something else. He said he can read palms, and being a skeptic to this, I let him - so far nothing the lines show is true. I put my hand on the table, close enough for him to see. He pointed to some lines and commented, but not long after, he grabbed my hand and said "so fleshy, so fleshy". Then he mentioned that he likes my lips to most because... And started smacking his own lips. I said "yuck" and asked him to stop, which he did but the way he stared at me showed it never stopped in his filthy brain. I tried to keep cool until end of the session, when he invited me to have lunch with him. I told him I didn't want to go because I'm interested in a guy and would not want him (this guy I'm interested in) to get the wrong idea if he sees me lunching with a guy. He insisted that I join him still, and luckily for me I got a call from office that I have to attend an urgent meeting.

The next mentoring session is tomorrow at 12pm, and honestly, I'm really scared. I told my friend what happened and she got worried and suggested that I have an audio tape ready tomorrow, or have someone else with me.

You'd probably be asking why I never reported this, right? Well, if it were up to me, I had done so the day he told me he admires me. But I thought that was just a silly old guy feeling lonely, and I never thought he'd dare to get physical. Plus, I really don't want to jeopardize my career, considering I'm the sole breadwinner in the family. And what if he decides to beat me up, somewhere outside the office? (Oh, if he does this I'm definitely going to the police.)

This is my cry for help, for now. Pray for me that nothing is going to happen tomorrow. Pray that his brain could work out some sense, and realize that he's twice my age and older than my parents - no way I'd be interested, no matter how much money or how many PhD's he has!