What do you do when the boss is not in?

My colleague told me a great news this morning - my boss is on leave today!  Hiiiiihhhhhhiiiii!

My goodness, she's been working every single day since I joined the company, that workaholic woman!  But it's good to know she's still human - must have needed the time off, at long last.

 

As soon as I heard the news, my first thought is to drop all work, at least until 11 am.  Not like I have been doing anything significant since yesterday.  I'm still in my Raya mood.  I did mention I forgot I have to work, remember?  If that's not evidence I'm still laxing, I don't know what is...  And I'm still sleepy - kept waking up last night, what else is new?  My head feels very light, my eyes blur... maybe I should really head to the surau to take a nap, huh?  Nah, that'd be too obvious.  Gotta show a good example now that I have a cubicle partner.  Haih...

 

So I decided to surf the 'net.  But I haven't been doing so for oh-so-very-long, I don't know what to look for.  Facebook?  I get online via phone.  So finally I decided to read my own blog posts.  Yeah I know, how pathetic can anyone get, right?  Tsk, tsk.  But I did anyway.  Not that I ever read my own posts.  Really, all this while I simply type and post.  Or email; mostly email nowadays.  

 

Guess what I noticed in these posts?  Grammar errors!  And spelling.  My gosh, I can't believe typing while you're emotional could affect your grammar.  Now wonder my English composition scores were never stable - my emotions were not.  Especially when English classes were the first subject in the morning.  Haaaha.  Anyways, I spotted many spelling errors too, in posts sent through my phone.  Ni memang kes teruk la ni, but couldn't help that.  Too much difference typing using a proper QWERTY and the tiny one on my phone!  The most obvious is I can use all 10 fingers to type on my laptop, but can only use a teeny weeny stylus pen on the phone.  And I can only type only one character at a time... how tiring!  All in all, if you found any mistakes just 'close one eye', ya.  I'm definitely not going to correct them - that'd be a waste of time, right?  And I only have less than an hour to finish this post before start working.

 

Then I came to the post on this 'evil comes to life'.  Oh, my God, I can't believe I wrote that!  That's gotta be the most childish thing to say!  Yeah, 15 - 20 years ago, it could be acceptable.  But now, at 28?  I should just apologize to the person I hurt with those words.  Shouldn't mock how anybody look like.  No one would ever ask to look any less than another, but sometimes you just have to accept what's given to you, right?  I am really, really sorry.  This doesn't make me like her any better, though.  Fact:  I made a mistake by being awfully cruel and I'm sorry.  Fact:  What you or anyone have done to me is between you and God, or whatever deity or forces you believe in.

 

The Marriage Proposal Reply:  hilarious!  I still laugh when I read it, and this is not the first time.  That poor guy!  My opinion is still the same like before - he's trying too hard.  I'm sure he meant all the good things, but I couldn't help seeing something else entirely!  Haahahahaha.  I picture things when people tell me things, or when I read, and that's exactly what I did when I read the article.  And to picture everything how it's told, now, that's the funny part!  Iskkk, tak baik betul la aku ni!

 

What next?  The song lyrics I included, I hope nobody is going to sue me or anything.  A bit concern about copyright issues - I came across a lyrics website that won't display the lyrics to some songs, because of copyright issues.  Hurmm... let's see it this way - I put the songs in my blog, I help you promote the songs.  We good? =)

 

Haaaha... Britney Spears' Do Somethin' is playing on my laptop.  I guess that's my cue to start getting my work done.  Let's hope today will pass by quickly, then I can go home to sleep! ~yawn~

My Journey

Decided to drive to Genting after dinner last night.  I know, sounds crazy isn't it?  But that's actually entirely normal, coming from me.  I'm known for doing the unexpected.  Urm...  actually, doing things without thinking is more like it.  I mean, come on, you only live once right?  And, having my kind of life, once I delay a plan, it will never be done.  So, last night, since I didn't go for yoga classes, I decided I should go somewhere worthwhile.  Haha..


I drove all the way until I reached Wangsa Maju (or anywhere near that area - I'm not sure where I was) when I realized that I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW!  Sheesh!  I've been on leave the whole week last week,  I can't believe I actually forgot I still have to work!  Dang!  I guess being away too long can cause some damage to your memory, huh?


Oh well, so I took the nearest U-turn and drove back.  Actually, I don't think it was a U-turn, but what the heck, I just need to head back.  Anywhere will do, as long as I don't get pulled over by Polis.  And since it was already very late - really, it was almost midnight!, I drove pretty fast, and recklessly.  I got home in less than 30 minutes!  Imagine Wangsa Maju - Seputih in 30 mins!  Sure hope I won't get a ticket for that... kalau tak mati laa aku, terbang lagi duit ni.. =(


I was cursing myself all the way back for forgetting.  No wait, cursing sounded so negative isn't it?  What's a better word for it?  Laughed at myself?  Oh, whatever.  It was rather frustrating actually, since I was really looking forward to that trip.  So much for a fun overnight trip; I had the shortest 'vacation' ever!  And I didn't even get there!  Ish iskkk...


I was still blabbing about this short journey, when suddenly 911's The Journey song was played on my car's audio.  What a coincidence!  Or was it trying to mock me?  Great.  But then I realize I heard that song two times before, on my way back.  Hurmm... maybe there is something to it that I should look into?  I started to recall what it's about, bla bla bla... and, ouch, I felt like someone just smacked me in the face!  I've been soooo awfully negative the past few weeks, regretting and mourning what's been happening to me.  All this while, I could just recall this song and apply it in my own life.  Embrace and try to see positive in everything, that one day I will look back and smile at all these... All that crap...


Here's the lyrics to that song, in case anyone needs a reminder, just like me.  Wish I heard this sooner though...


911 - THE JOURNEY


Time waits for no one, sure as the tide pulls the ocean
Sure as, the path that's been chosen, cannot be changed
In my life's destination, I searched for the explaination
For some kind of reason, for my sorrow and pain
But in my isolation I learned to listen
To be thankful for the love that I'd been given


[Chorus]
This is my journey, journey through life
With every twist and turn I've laughed and cried
As the road unwinds
This is my journey, and I've learned to fight
To make me strong enough, to lift me up, to bring my dreams alive


In my desperation I swore that never again
Would I hear all the laughter of my friends and my family
A million tears that I'd cried then began to dry
In the silence of the night time
I had came to realize
A sweet inspiration filled my horizon
Gave me the heart to go on and never would give in


[Chorus]
This is my journey, journey through life
With every twist and turn I've laughed and cried
As the road unwinds
This is my journey, and I've learned to fight
To make me strong enough, to lift me up, to bring my dreams alive


I'm going to love each moment, of every day and night
I'll look back to the past with the sweetest smile
For now I realise, I've been given the key to life
I've been kissed by the angel by my side


[Chorus]
This is my journey, journey through life
With every twist and turn I've laughed and cried
As the road unwinds
This is my journey, and I've learned to fight
To make me strong enough, to lift me up, to bring my dreams alive


To bring my dreams alive
To bring my dreams alive

80/20: Food/Exercise!

Read my sister's blog post on the 80/20 Principle. My first thought: sounds sooo awfully familiar... Blank...

Reading further, she mentioned 'Uncle Pareto'. Aha! Something to do with stats and graphs, definitely! That's all I know about Pareto anyways. Even that, I completely forgotten which graph is actually the Pareto kind... Funny this comes from someone with engineering background, eh? But don't blame me, the last time I learnt it was when I was in school, which was last century!

Oh, well...

I read further and found out it's something about how, we are in charge of 80% of going-ons in our life and only 20% we can't control. However, most of the time in our life, we let the 20% get the better of the 80%. Meaning, we tend to spoil our lives because of the things we can't control.

Now, reflecting this with my own life, this very evening, I can't control how people are going to treat me, or what my teachers are going to make us do in exercise class. But, I can control what I'm going to do for the rest of the evening - eat and be merry! Haaha!

Ok, ok, some people may find it overwhelming talking about food all the time but hey, that's one of life's bare neccessities, ain't? Thumbs up for Baloo the Blue Bear for that song anyways. Helps me to think about living in simplicity - not really easy if you're high maintenance like me, you know! And to appreciate every trivial things happening in life, like being able to hear, see, sing, dance, eat...

Yeah, FOOD again. So that's it. I'm going to follow my instinct and hunt for good food! Yummm!

Cats... CATS!

I had a dream about cats last week. I walked around a city with somebody, and there were cats everywhere! At everycorner, every alley, cats were 'meow-ing' and following us! Just imagine being followed by cats all over an unfamiliar city - boy, I felt like the Pied Piper of Hamelin! Only instead of kids and rats, I had cats following me. Theehee...

Actually, that dream wasn't all strange. In real life, I have the tendency to 'attract' cats. But of course normally there would only be one or two, four at most. I only realize this when a friend pointed this out, really.

We were eating out at an open-air restaurant when she said, "There, your friends are here." And, silly me, I looked around for familiar faces. Tsk.. Tsk.. My friend laughed and said she meant feline sort of friend, not human. She told me that she noticed this for sometime already, since we used to eat out a lot. At that moment I remembered having cats sitting around my table at restaurants before. I only noticed that these cats only sit around, and never ate. I always drop some of my food on the floor for the cats, but only a handful actually ate. Most of them just sat there, buat tak tahu je.

I went to Bukit Tinggi a few months ago, my friend had a great time teasing me. Because there were cats in my photos! So I never really got to take lone photos. Something like that... Something like the dream I had... Aiyo!

That reminds me of something that happened while I was at uni. My classmates and I went to visit a family for a project. This family had so many beautiful cats. According to the owner, this pakcik, his cats are sombong - they do their own thing and don't really like to play with people. However, as soon as he finished saying this, a few cats leaped onto the couch I was sitting on. Then one made itself comfortable, sitting on my lap. Two more lay around my feet, while others sat on my sides. The pakcik told us this never happened before, not even to his kids and wife! Because of this, they called me 'cat woman'. Haiiiihhh...

Now, don't start picturing me like the Cat Woman from Batman movies, ya! Behave, and spare yourselves from frustration! Really, I'm nothing like the beautiful and sexy actresses. Well, not unless you think extra fat all around is sexy! And by extra, I mean XXXXXL! Honest!

And don't bother to picture me walking like one either. I'm more like Shrek when it comes to walking, sometimes I think I walk more like an ogre than THE Shrek. Haha.

Let see, let see, how else can I compare myself with cats... Hurmmm, well maybe next time. Because now all I can picture is the way cats walk. Lazily; like there's no care in the world. Like so smooth, like no one can mess with me.

Like... Like..

Gosh, I should get going. My mind is seeing 'ZzZZzZ' since I typed 'lazy'.

Good nite!

Acne thunderstorm!

I was talking to some people at the gym when someone came to check in. I was shocked to see that face. Not because that face belongs to the evil witch, but because it really looked like one! She had red acne on her face, bumpy ones with puss showing! Urgh! I could have sworn it came with a crooked nose and a big wart! Haaaha! And remembering what someone said about your face reflects what's in your heart... Ahem, need I say more?

Oh, yeah, that reminded me of what happened yesterday. I was in belly dance class, after a whole month break for puasa. Halfway through class, I felt like someone was watching me so I looked out. The studio has glass walls so everyone can look inside, or outside, depending where you are. What I saw was, the witch watching us, hunching her already rounded back (her best friend pointed this out earlier, ye), carrying a book and had a towel covering her head. Honestly, I know this is mean, but combined with what I saw just now, she's right out of Disney's villain character videos! Oohhh, evil comes to life! Scarry... NOT!

By the way, when she stood outside the studio, many people noticed. Some even asked why my friend was looking like that. Like how, I don't know. But I felt like slapping them for calling her my friend. Just because we're Malay and we talked, a loooonng time ago, they think we're friends? If only they had known what she had done. I wanted to tell them, but nevermind, better keep them out of this. Let them find out on their own, if they're destined to find out.

Now I wonder why she stood there to watch. Maybe she suddenly took interest in belly dancing? Puh-lease! What happened to "belly dancers bodies are not nice, because they have flab on the belly"? Oh, wait, maybe the boyfriend loves belly dance. So, everything for the toy boy, huh? Whatever. (Sorry, Adrian, but that really looks like the case.)

Now, wait, was she really standing there to watch, or to put more jinx on me? Or my belly dance friends? Because she saw I was enjoying myself in class. I mean, come on, that the whole point of dancing isn't it? Why bother dance if you don't feel the rythm in your heart? Oh well, fact is, I really did enjoy yesterday's class! And to know we're having a full dress party soon? YEAY!

Ok, so back to my story. Maybe she wanted to see me gloomy all the time, and she was cursing my belly dance instructor for making me smile! Shit, that means another person could suffer. Dang it!

Hurmmm, maybe all this while, the reason is simply to make me sad. Because she's jealous this fat girl is liked by others. She did point out that she hates to be fat because people hate fat people. But I've been proving her wrong. So she wanted to make things go her way. That fat people should live alone on an island? That's why she worked hard to win that guy's heart? The one I cared about? He's only complimentary, a bonus to her lonely old wicked heart, in her effort to making me depressed?

Well, tough luck bitch. You messed with the wrong person. I'm enjoying myself better now than I have ever been. Give it up, already!

What you eat?

This might not be anything special to most people, but I find it very interesting and will surely remember this forever.

I was having yellow laksa for breakfast + lunch + dinner at a joint in The Gardens Midvalley, when I notice a boy walking around, looking into everybody's plate. Of course, some of the diners were pissed but I ended up watching this boy smiling and looking...

Until he came to my table. By this time I pretended that I didn't notice him. Which was hard because I'd really like to see what's on that curious and cute face! So I finally looked up, smiled and said hi. He was shocked, I guess, but he managed to act cool - my gosh, kids these days! Haha!

Anyways, he stood by my table for a little while more then he finally asked: "What you eat?". So cute! As soon as I told him "Yellow curry", he ran to a lady and screamed, "Mummy, I want yellow curry like that cheche (sister) eat." Everyone looked at me - obviously he pointed at my direction, duh!

What happened next was amazing. Everyone started smiling at each other, the tension they felt from being stared at was gone. Some even started talking to each other. All because of a boy and his curry noodle. Urmm, yellow curry, I mean.

I'd better end this and finish my noodle now- it's getting cold!

Fitzgerald and Kennedy

What a terrible way to start the second day of Raya. My nose was itchy all morning, and got all red bexause I kept scratching it. By 10, it became too much to bear soI decided to take some meds. And immediately went to sleep.

Had a rojak dream, but one was very interesting. It was as if I was a camerawoman shooting scenes from a movie - very close to the actors but never once participate in their conversations or whatever else they are doing.

It was about two men, trying to get into enemy's border. I think. Or something like that. All I'm sure is they were on a mission, walking very quietly in a river. They had brief conversations, but I can't recall what they were about. While I was following them, two names came to mind - A. Fitzgerald and Kennedy. Don't ask me where that idea came from, it just did.

After a while, I hear a gunfire. The two men were shot at! And there were explosions and people shouting... It was a real mess! I suppose the enemy saw the two friends abd were trying to kill them.

They managed to hide under a bridge, however, but by this time we noticed Fitzgerald was wounded. Kennedy was worried about his friend, but he was told to keep going. That he must do what they came to do. I wasn't paying attention to figure out what their mission was All I cared about was the guy's blood staining the river. And the commotion outside. I had a feeling that the enemy is closing in.

I forgot what happened next. The only thing I saw was Kennedy walking, determined although he knew he might get caught. I was looking for Fitzgerald, but he was nowhere to be seen. As I panicked, the image disappeared, and I was in a different dream...

I tried to google the names as soon as I woke up. But the only thing I got was 'John Fitzgerald Kennedy'. (Never knew the F stands for Fitzgerald) Nothing that links the two names, 'A. Fitzgerald' and 'Kennedy'.

I don't think I'd keep researching for these names, they might just be something my mind made up. Although I wonder how come these two names. I mean, considering it's Raya, wouldn't it be more appropriate to come up with names like 'Ahmad' and 'Ali'? But, hey, that's my mind at work. I don't think I have control over it when I sleep.

Of course, drop me a message if you have a different opinion, or any info on the two names, ya?

Rainbow, Sun and (my) pot of gold

I received a text message from a senior-turned-colleague-turned-boss, but always a great friend this morning:

"Kadang2 ALLAH sembunyikan matahari, DIA datangkan hujan petir dan kilat.. Kita bersedih dan tertanya2 ke mana hilangnya matahari, rupa2nya.. ALLAH nak hadiahkan kita pelangi.."

Translated, it means "Sometimes God hides the sun and gives us thunder and lightning. We get sad and wonders where the sun has gone to. Truth is, God wants to present us with a rainbow". Well, something like that.

That brought smile to my face. I realize I haven't been smiling for a while. But I'm glad someone reminded me. A great friend and mentor who I can always count on for good advice. Thanks Ed.

But, dude, even with the rainbow (with the pot of gold) and all, I'd still like to have my sun back, thank you. =)

** Happy Eid Mubarak everyone! **

Manyak ong wor...

I fell asleep early tonight. Got my brain working on overdrive during the auditor's exam, I guess.

I saw a face in my dream. An old Chinese uncle I met more than 10 years ago. I was waiting for a bus ride home from school when this uncle approached me and said something like this:

"Amoi, lu punya laki manyak ong la, tapi dia misti manyak bilani."

Which, translated, I think it means "Miss, your (future) husband is a very lucky guy, but he must be very brave".
I didn't get to ask him to explain then, for he just walked off. And I was 'blur-blur'.

Never gave it any thought, and I completely forgotten about it until recently. Even so, I highlighted it to a friend and thought about it for a couple of days. But I could never recall that uncle's face, until just now.

Point is, why do I remember this now, after so many years? And what did he mean?

Anyone care for an idea?

Dragon...

Was browsing through books at MPH when I found a book on dream interpretations. I remembered a dream I had a while back - flying on the back of a green dragon. I had this dream so often, and every time I feel so warm and so light. Until one day when the dragon turned red, and for the first time I saw its claws. I could feel its anger, and it was trying to keep me off its back! I was so scared that I woke up, my heart beating so fast.

After that I couldn't sleep for three weeks.

When that 'hell' was over, I saw a guy in green top. He reached out his right hand to me, smiling. I didn't know what, but there's something familiar about him. After much thought, I realize it was the same feeling I had when I dreamt of the dragon. Is that how the dragon looks like as a human?

The next time I dreamt, I saw the dragon again, encircling me. One round around my leg, and stopped. Second time, it was already up to my waist - imagine how big it was! Then stop again. It looked at me and I felt safe, just like when I was flying. Then third time it circled and reached my neck. I felt claustrophobic, so I woke up gasping for air.

I always wondered what that meant. Someone suggested that it could be my guardian angel. Another said it means I'm a very lucky person.

But the book said:
Warning of evil spirits summoned to harm the dreamer, by practice of black magic.

Dang, if only I had known this earlier. At least I could have taken precautions.

On the other hand, would I believe this interpretation even if I found this earlier?

Sista, sistah!

I just found out that one of my sisters has a blog. Woohooo! No, actually it's not that surprising for me - she's the expressive type. I think her finding out that I have a blog is really mind-blowing, considering my history with diaries, which goes waaaay back to my standard school years. Yep, you thought right. All the diaries I had ended up being a museum exhibit on my mum's book rack. Normally I would write my name, address, other personal details and that's it. Really.

Ok, back to my sister. I got to read the posts on the first page and they were enough to make me realize why people always think I'm the younger sister. She is obviously more matured than me. And her views on life is completely different than mine. She's always more cautious in her dealings with people while I accept and trust people for who they are - look what I've gotten myself into. She plans ahead while I live life one day at a time. She faces challenges that are put in her face but I run away.

You see, I was raised by grandparents as their 'little angel'. Yeah, right, angel who climbs trees and fights with boys! Well, bottomline, I was spoilt since I was a kid. But this sister of mine, with me missing from the family, took the role of the eldest child. And she still does.

I returned to my parents home at age 10, then was sent to boarding school at 16. After that was college and now I'm renting a house, 30 minutes away (provided the traffic is miraculously smooth) from my parents'. She never left home. I asked her to stay with me, now that she goes to school near this area, but she said no. If she moves out, who's going to drive mum around? (Yeah, I did feel that slap, on my face, square!)

For as long as I can remember, she's always putting our parents' needs first. Oh, and our youngest sister's. For this, sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be the big sister.. :">

But of course, she's only human. When she feels like she can't take things anymore, she has this habit of making sounds. Any kind of sound - scream, animal sounds and all other weird sounds I don't know what to call. So, if you happen to pass our house and you hear something, don't worry. That's just my sister clearing her head!

Ok, I should get ready for prayers. I don't know how long this post is going to be if I were to write everything about my sister.

Important thing is, she's been there for me all along. Especially when I'm in trouble, and I get into trouble a lot. Like right now.

So thanks, Angah. I'm really lucky to have you as my sister.

(p.s. Why is your friend's name Mr Dinosaur?)

The Two Kings

My sister told me a very interesting story last night.

It's about two kings, one was very kind and fair, the other a tyrant. Both kings fell ill of a disease that could only be cured by a rare type of fish, which are only available during certain seasons.

The villain king fell ill during the season which the fish was hard to find. But God made it that someone was able to find the fish and brought it back to the king. So, the tyrant king was cured.

The good king, on the other hand, fell ill during the season where the fish was plenty. But by God's will, nobody was able to catch the fish to save him. And so the good king died.

How unfair isn't it? That was exactly what I thought too. And I guess, so was the Angels. That's why God explained this to them:
The tyrant was had done only one good deed in his life, while the good king did one bad thing.

I know, this is proving that God is even more unfair, isn't it?

Wait til you read this:
God let the bad king survived so he will have nothing more to claim on Judgement Day, because he has received God's mercy while on Earth. So God can send him straight to Hell, with mo chance of going to Heaven. Sort of lifetime jail without parol, I guess, only this is not lifetime - it's for eternity.

Meanwhile, the good king was left to die as a punishment for the one bad thing he had done, so he will owe God nothing in the afterlife. Then he can take the express train to Heaven and stay there forever.

What do you think, now? I cried. Nothing in my head or heart, simply tears in my eyes.

*******

You can read a longer version of the story here, but it's in Malay.
http://diana-saib.blog.friendster.com/2006/11

Don't mess with my friends!

I don't feel itchy tonite, which is amazing considering the extent of swelling on my face and eyes all morning. Yes, after I submitted this morning's post, everyone was shocked to see my face. They saw me a few minutes earlier - I was fine. Then 15 minutes later, my cheeks and eyes looked like I just got stung. The funny thing was, it wasn't so itchy. Thus I didn't realize how bad it was until they pointed it out. Miraculously, again, it all went away as soon as I heard the Zohor azan. And again, everyone in the meeting room witnessed this.

Good, more people know the truth now.

The thing is, my friend just called, telling me she got itchy on her hands, and it was awful. She said it was better when she called me, which was about an hour ago. And so we chatted for a bit until we got to the topic which involves people who have been lied by that bitchy witch. Suddenly, she told me her 'gatal-gatal' started again. She had to hang up to take more antihistamine.

What the hell..? Are you messing with my friends now that you can't touch me? Aha.. this shows how desperate you are - you realize you're losing aren't you? That's why you have to get at everyone who can now see what's really happening?

Well, bitch, if you have issues with me, put everything you have on ME. Don't you dare mess with anyone else. Unless you're blind to see that the more people you hurt, the stronger we are.

Pick someone your own size, you chicken shit!

Itch.. itch.. isk!

I wore a new blouse to work on Monday. Well, not really NEW new, I bought it some time ago but never worn it. It has pretty flowers design sewn on it, with glittery plastic thread. A little girly for me, which is why I never worn it before.

I wore the blouse since morning until past dinner. Around 9 pm, I started to feel itchy around my neck. Dang, my sensitive skin is really 'high maintenance'! Must I wear natural cotton clothes all the time? Gimme a break!

So as soon as I got home, put my stuff on the floor, then immediately took the blouse off. Gues my sisters are gonna have a new blouse as soon as I wash it.

But, maybe not.

You see, I went for dinner with some friends last night. We stayed for a while after meal, catching up. Had a friend whom we haven't seen in a while, so she was busy telling us about the hunks she's been seeing. And by seeing, I mean looking/gawking at them, not going out with them! Sheesh!

While chatting, my neck started to feel itchy - again! Just after a few moments it got worse. A friend noticed me scratching, and asked if I was alright. By this time, the rest of them stopped to look at me, very concern. Because the friend sitting next to me saw that my neck was all red and swollen! Truth is, I don't think it was just my neck. I think it was all over my head - I could feel the itch even in my hair =(

I noticed the time was 9.05 pm.

Of course I didn't want to make them worry, so I told them that it's normal - I had the same thing the night before. But that backfired. I forgot these people know what's been happening to me, so they were immediately alarmed by that information. One mentioned I shouldn't ignore anything at all. That I should pay attention to EVERY single weird thing that's been happening to me. I should take note, and write them down. But what for? As an evidence for everybody to know that I'm not the one doing bad things to people? Maybe. Whatever it is, I am writing it down here. And I have been recording other things that have been happening to me in my earlier posts.

So we immediately parted, my friends kept reminding me to put blessed water, or whatever holy things I can find, around my neck. Just to see if it is something supernatural, or if it's just simply an allergy. One called me when I got home, to make sure I do all that. And, of course I did - she won't hang up until I told her all's done. Lucky she didn't make a video call, or I might have to demo everything to her! Haha!

Anyways, they were right. After putting the blessed water, the itch was gone. My neck was still red, but that's ok as long as the itch was gone!

What a terrible person that bitch is. It's Ramadhan, the month where most people do more goodness, and she was doing evil things! To me! What have I ever done to you that you hate me so much? Because they guy you're in love with didn't love you straight away? That you had to wait over a year to get him? And that is through lying to everyone about me being a witch? I wonder if she's ever described to anyone what I'm supposed to have done to people - she should have known, it was all HER doing!

Well, bitch, you can try do what you want. But you must know, I'm much stronger than you. That's why you had to ask for 'help' in the first place. And these lies you've been telling people - everyone will learn the truth soon. I swear.

God is fair. You'll get what you deserve one day.

Berbuka adventures

My sister asked me to drive her to Sungai Chua yesterday. Her teacher told her of this gerai that sells excellent kuih-muih there, so she'd like to try. Considering it was her birthday, my other sister and I agreed.

And so, we went to Sungai Chua. It was only in Kajang, but it felt like we were travelling all the way to JB! The traffic was very slow... But of course none of us said anything - we agreed to go, so we had to bear the consequences!

We finally got to Sungai Chua around 6.15 pm. Mind you, this is not the Pasar Ramadhan yet. Had to look for the area, then for parking, in the midst of worse traffic jam than Kajang town itself! We only got to get out of the car after 6.30 pm!

The funny thing was, there were so many stalls there, selling all kinds of food and drinks. But all looked so 'unfriendly'. So we ended up walking from one end of the Pasar Ramadhan to another, and back, after which we only bought a piece of ayam percik! The stall my sister wanted to go to was nowhere in sight!

Feeling very pathetic, we decided to break fast at the nearest fast food joint. So we ended up breaking fast at a nearby McDonald's

So much for delicious kuih, huh?

Crystals crushed

I just remembered something.

I bought a few crystal items last year - bracelets, lockets and earrings, worth hundreds of ringgit. When I bought them, my intentions were simply to improve my health, you know, the crystal healing stuff.

I bought them for different types of 'healing', mainly on concentration and speech. However, a salesgirl recommended that I buy a black crystal for protection against 'evil'. Yes, that was her exact word, evil. I bought it, but because it was really beautiful. Again, I took things lightly.

Honestly, I never really knew why I suddenly bought the crystals. Something, I don't know what, tells me that I need them. And no, I'm not admitting to being a schizo. Someone knew about the purchases and pointed out that I might be overdoing it. Oh, yeah, that time I actually wore two bracelets and two lockets, all at the same time!

My crystals only lasted a few weeks. After that, they broke. No, they were crushed! The first that broke was the pink rose quartz. I woke up one morning, finding only the rubber band around my wrist. My entire bed was full of crystal powder. Yeah, I wore them all the time, literally. Again, I never knew why. And again, I mentioned the incident to someone, and he told me I shouldn't wear them to bed. I might break them accidentally. But no problem so far, until that bracelet got crushed.

Next was my blue quartz locket. Again, it broke into million pieces. Lastly was the black crystal, the one that's supposed to give best protection. This one was also crushed. The only thing that survived was the green bracelet, but this one got slightly tight so I didn't wear it to bed. Scared my hand couldn't breathe. Haha.

Anyways, that was an investment I regreted doing. Hundreds of ringgit for a few weeks? I never bothered to replace them.

A remark I got made me feel bad about myself. Someone said I must have too much negative energy within me that the crystals broke! Yeah, it came from someone who wears a crystal bracelet himself, who talked about crystals like he's an expert! And other people agreed to his statement.

But now I know better. I'm not the one having negative energy. It was because I was being targetted by an evil witch. And this was confirmed by the same salesgirl who recommended me the black crystal. I went back to the shop recently. And this girl told me she sensed like I was being watched by something bad then. She turned white and sweaty when she said this, but she said the 'thing' was no longer so close to me. "Still watching, but cannot get near".

Only she knows what is watching me. She plead me to stop asking about it..

Butterflies in my stomach

I have been feeling weird since 12pm.

My stomach feels queasy, like everytime I have to do presentation or public speaking.

My heart beats fast, like I was running when someone is chasing after me with a huge knife (yeah, like in the recent dream).

My head feels light, like when I stood at the outdoor transmission floor at KL Tower.

 

But I can't identify which emotion I'm feeling.  Because I haven't been able to access my emotions for about a month now.

 

Picture this:

My heart beats fast, my eyes teary, my hands shake.

But I don't feel angry, or sad.

My lips break into a smile, my spine tingles, my chest feels 'opened'.

But I don't feel love, or happy.

 

 

It's really funny, I think, to be able to sense all physical reactions but not put my finger on what I really feel.

It's also very confusing, because I get almost the same physical reactions for some emotions.

 

I used to be able to sense another's feeling - love, anger, confusion.  But no more.

Now I can only see their faces, and think hard, what the face potrays.

 

Honestly, I feel really hollow.

And sometimes I wonder whether I'm still human.

But most of the time I wonder what got me this way.

Yes, I have been feeling low for a few months, but I have felt worse for longer time before.

So it can't be that my current crisis that caused me this 'disfunction'.

What did, then?

 

Pets are family

Went to Midvalley's Pet World shop earlier and had a wonderful time watching the animals!

I've never been to any pet shops before, really. I was always afraid I might go home with all the animals from the shop! Scared I'd feel pity for the animals, and buy them all.

And that's what happened, at first. I saw a handsome cat in one of the 'cages', and when it looked at me with those sad eyes, I immediately wanted to buy it. But when I looked at the price, GULP! Almost RM3000! So, sadly, I walked away from the feline section saying goodbye to the cat. If only I make RM15k per month, I'd definitely get it! Oh well...

So next I passed the rabbit and birds and hamster and mice and reptile section. I didn't even bother to take a look at these animals. Afraid the same thing might happen.

And I got the the area where they keep all the fishes. And wow, such mesmerising creatures, I was hypnotized watching them swim! So many of them, so many colors, so many shapes! I think I couldn't keep my mouth shut! Haha! And I didn't know how long I stood there watching them. Until I heard my sister's voice saying "Fish are friends, not food!". Sounds familiar? It's the famous quote from Disney's Nemo. The jaws said it, as a reminder for themselves to not eat the little fishes. And yes, that was exactly what my sister's 'joke' was about. She said I looked like one of the jaws wanting to eat all the fish! Oh, please!

In one of the tanks, I saw a fish floating upside down at the surface of water. I thought it was dying, so I ran to get one of the staff so he can help the fish. Know what he did? Poked the fish's belly. And what happened next? The fish immediately swam around the tank, very quickly. Startled, maybe? Anyways, I was relief to see that the fish is alive, and the guy had fun to see me panic - great! I guess this is what people call a win-win situation, huh?

Wow, so many things I want to share, I really don't know where to start! So many, many, many things! If I were to describe EVERYTHING, I would have to break this into several parts - maybe more than 8!

I'm really glad my friend gave me the fish tank. Otherwise, I wouldn't be going to the pet shop, and I wouldn't have a chance to see the things I saw! And as I'm writing this, I can still see the fishes swimming gracefully... aww....

I should really thank this wonderful and generous friend, who gave me the 'fishing' set - a fish tank, a motor, and fish food. Almost complete set, except for the fish and deco - I'm supposed to decide what fish I want to keep, then we can work on the deco. She was really excited when she gave me the stuff. Wanted me to have some company at home - I live alone, remember?. I gave all kinds of excuses to not have any. I'm just not so fond of animals, and I didn't think I can find time to clean the mess. Despite the excuses, she bought me the set. Said fish is easiest to look after, and they won't mess up my place.

Because she was persistent, I got to experience what I did. And most importantly, I found out that I really love animals!

Thanks, Sue.

80's Ballads

I had this irritating song playing in my head all morning.  Really, I never heard that song before.

This is actually not the first time I hear such songs in my head.  Since the past few weeks these songs have been playing almost every single day.  I recognize some of the songs as they were popular when I was little - my aunts' fav songs.  When I was in standard school.  But I never knew the lyrics.  So how come now, after years, I'm starting to hear these songs again?  And that's not all, some of the songs, I never heard of!

Let's see what happened this morning:  I woke up for sahur, then fell asleep again =D

O yeah, I had a dream - a guy treated me like I'm his.  We met while shopping.  Somehow, he acted like he have known me all my life.  Asked me to accompany him to buy things for the 'home', then wanted me to meet his family.  I mean, come on!  Really, I never knew this guy.  Never met or even seen his face in my life!  What's wrong with this crazy fella?  Just as I was trying to run away, I thought about someone.  I don't know what this thought has anything to do with the dream, it just came.  Totally unrelated.  And, as if that crazy guy knew what I was thinking, he went beserk!  He grabbed a big knife (I don't know where he got it from, that place was supposed to be selling curtains and beddings) and ran after me all over the place.  Luckily, I saw my cousin there and he helped me to hide. 

It's ridiculous, I know.  I woke up shaking my head.  Then I started hearing this song.  Please make it stop!

Now that I think about it, I hear these songs everytime I have dreams about what's happening to me.  And I dream about it a lot!  Not that I wanted to, though.  Believe me, I have many better things to think about - work, family, Raya...

The past few days, I have dreams of guys treating me like I'm a queen or something.  Some of these guys I know, but most of them I don't know.  Everytime, when I was about to be 'swept off my feet' I would start thinking about my friend, family, and those I care about, and these guys would go crazy.  The worst was the one with the knife.  One jumped off a building, another screamed til the glasses break... crazy, I tell you!  And obviously, I'd be hearing these old songs when I wake up.  !@#$%^&**&^%$#@

Is there any connection between these dreams and the songs?  Can't recall all the songs, and never tried to see if the songs reflect the dreams - that'd be silly isn't it?

But, if these things are related, then it must also be linked to someone old enough to know the songs and remember them.  Someone as old as my aunts, someone 10-15 years older than me.  And I know just the one who fits that description...

Cookworks

Had a blast celebrating a friend's birthday last night. Yeah my first outing after... a very looooooooong time. We only had dinner, really, no parties but I enjoyed the conversation and goofing around! We only left because the restaurant was closing.

And, because we chatted so much, only the brithday girl could finish her food. The rest of us had to tapau ours. Can't blame us, we had so many things to share, and the portion was GIGANTIC! I remember when our food arrived, we all had our mouths opened! And I bet we were all wondering the same thing "How on earth am I going to finish that?". Here's a tip: If you're going to Italiannies at The Gardens, make sure you order something that everyone can eat. Don't bother to have one for each person, unless you have four stomaches! Owh, and the bread pudding cake (I forgot the name) is delicious! Hihi. We had this at the end, when the staff sang Happy Birthday to this friend.

I took my pasta home and vowed to finish it during sahur. Ok, TRY to finish it. I normally wake up very late, but because of the pasta, I couldn't sleep! Haaha! You see, I'm very sensitive when it comes to wasting food. I would cry when I have to throw any leftovers - that's why my sister had to do it for me everytime. I don't know why, even at 28 I still cry when I have to throw my food. Must be something my parents or grandparents said that's stuck in my head. Or maybe I'm just a food hoarder... yucks!

O well, this morning I woke up an hour earlier than usual, so I have enough time to reheat and eat. That was a nice change from my usual tuna sandwich. Really, I was already starting to look and smell like tuna! Anyways, that was great, the reheated pasta for sahur. And I wish I can eat real food more often. Maybe I should consider getting a stove. Yeah, I don't have a stove. I only have a rice cooker and microwave oven at home. I never thought I'd be spending enough time at my place to cook - my life is all about work, yoga and sleep. Oh, and eating out. So why bother getting a stove right? Afterall, I live in a studio apartment, not that I have a real kitchen anyways.

Honestly, I haven't been cooking for years. Not that I can't, I just never had time and opportunity. I was away in boarding school for a few years, then there was college. After that, started working. Yeah, I lived with my parents the first 3 years of my working life but I got out around 7, and got home around midnight. Where got time to cook? I used to help my grandmother in her huge kitchen when I was little. Help? More like bug her. I normally help to pass things around - never cutting, her knives were very sharp, my grandfather didn't want me to cut myself. But most of the time, I'd be asking her so many questions that sometimes she forgot what she's put in her periuk belanga. I remember when she forgot if she's put the salt in her soup. She decided to not put salt again, in case she has. And that day, we had to bear with this tasteless soup!

Hurmmm, now I starting to think that maybe I should cook something for Raya. Let's see, briyani, maybe? That'd be great. If I can get the recipe right, that is. Or maybe something simpler - nasi minyak with ayam kurma. Less hassle, and less risk to get things wrong. But wait, we normally have nasi impit with kuah kacang for raya, my mum's must-have. Maybe just that? Even simpler. Yeah, that and some kuih raya... maybe buy some lemang. Gosh, so many kinds of food! But wait, I can't take leave until after Raya. I have to work even on the Saturday before Raya. When am I going to buy the stuff to cook? Oh crap...

Swollen eye

When I woke up for sahur this morning, I could only open my right eye.  I went to the bathroom to wash my face, laughing.  I don't know about other people, but sometimes my eyes have their own mind.  And it's normal for me to have one of my eyes 'stuck' closed when I wake up.  Haaha!

When I got to the sink, I was horrified!  My left eye was swollen - like I was stung by a bee!  It looked like it's gong to pop out of my face anytime!  And it was red! 

I tried to wash it off still, thinking maybe the cold water might help to reduce the swelling.  But I didn't.  So I took an ice cube and put it there.  It was so cold!  Haaaha, of course, what do you expect from ice cubes?  But my point is, as soon as I had the ice on my eye, I was wide awake.  Not a normal thing for me - I'm really not a morning person.

After the ice melted, I looked into the mirror again, and the swelling was still there!  Now I panicked!  I mean, how am I going to work looking like this?  On the day I have to do stock take?  Dang!  Which stupid bug bit me?  Let me chew it to pieces!

It was then that I notice a little bit of the blessed water I got from the ustaz in the bottle - he asked me to leave a bit, just in case... So I put the water onto my eye.  Y voila!  In less than 5 minutes, the swelling reduced.  Could still see a bump near my nose, but at least not the entire eye!

This was taken a few minutes after I washed my eyes with the blessed water.

After that I wonder if the bump was really caused by a bug bite, or it was something else.  Maybe someone knows I'm writing down everything she's done, and got really pissed?  WTF, I'm NOT going to stop!

Let the truth be told, let justice me mine!

Another dream

Had another dream last night.

 

I was sitting in a studio with a bunch of people, when Z came in - class as usual.  However, as soon as he saw me, he immediately went to hide behind a box in the room and stayed there.  I could see his face briefly, and he was staring at the back of class.  Of course, where his darling is sitting.  "Hecks, why wouldn't she sit at the front, saves all of us the disgust".  So I looked behind to 'roll my eyes' at her, but I notice it was someone else!  OK, what's this?  Then I realize some of them - people I know from yoga class.  But, the gf was nowhere to be found!  Not in that class at least.

 

I wonder what the dream meant.

 

Sure, I prayed last night for God to show me who else was involved in this.  Other people she put curses on, I mean.  Does this dream an answer from God?  All those people were her victims?  If it were, she must be purely selfish and purely EVIL.  There were at least 20 of us in that room!

 

But why did that guy hide - is he involved as well?  And why was he staring at that girl's face ALL THE TIME?  Does she somehow know about what's going on all this while?

 

Allah, please show us the truth, show us the true faces of everyone involved.  And please make it plain and clear...

 

Poke, poke, more pokes!

I woke this morning with a strain on my left shoulder. Must have been doing some acrobatics in my sleep again… oh, dear…

Told my parents about it and they decided to bring me see this guy who lives in a temple near their place. My mum brought my sister there earlier during the week to help with her sinus and acne problems. According to them, he gave her two bottles of something something to apply on her face. Must be some traditional Chinese herbs. My sister told he does acupuncture too, and she’d like to try that out if that can help cure the pimples faster. Even more so if that can help her get slim!

So this afternoon, after failing to convince my parents to NOT bring me there, I went along… had to go along with them. Got to that place, saw 4 dogs! Shit! Don’t they know I’m terrified of dogs… do I have to remind them of the incident where a dog chased and almost bit my leg???? Gessh…

Lucky for us the guy was at home, so my mum told me about my shoulder pain. He brought us inside this room and asked my to lie facedown. There, on the floor, no mats, no pillows. “God, what have I gotten myself into?” But since both my parents were there, and the guy already brought this bottle of his ‘magic oil’ (ok, I made this name up… didn’t even know what’s inside the bottle), I lay down next to my mum.

Next he started to roll my pants up…. And poked at behind my knee. Ouch! That hurts, old man! “Adoooiiiiii!!!!” was all I could say. I’m pretty sure I screamed a loudly as I could – it hurt too much! It was shockingly unbearable!

Know what, that was just the first poke. He did some more pokings onto my left calf… a lot more! I didn’t even bother to count how many, all I could think of is to forget the pain. After all, it’s all in the mind, right? WRONG! Then he did on my right calf. MAAAAAKKKKKK OOIIIIIII!!! SAKIT NYAAAA! That was one of the most agonizing moments for me. My t-shirt was soaked with sweat, and I bet so was my pants – no time to check.

But I guess that was not enough, he grabbed my left leg again. At this point, I was already cursing him! Silently, of course, there’s no way I’m cursing an old guy in his face! Before I could finish my cursing, I felt a funny kind of pain – like I was jabbed! Haaa, I know… now he’s doing acupuncture… not so painful compared to the poking earlier. He jabbed at a few places on my calves, then that was it.

Or so I thought. He asked me to lie face up. Remembering the pain from before, I immediately told him I give up. It’s ok, I’ll do this another time. But this guy didn’t care! He asked me to do as he told, and what’s worse, my parents were on his side too. I really thought I was going to get tortured til I’m dead! Haaaaha!

Luckily this time he only asked me to do some stretching. And luckily I do yoga, so stretching isn’t much of a problem for me. Then he wiped his magic oil onto my entire body. Yeah, he really didn’t care about staining my clothes… dang it, I have to do my laundry by hand now. =(
But what I can’t stand is the smell of that potion. When I asked what it is, he simply said “samsu”. Great! Now I’m smelling like samsu! And I’m fasting!

Before we left, he told me to not eat anything fried. “Eat veggies, soup”. Wonderful, just wonderful. I wouldn’t have minded if I cook. I mean how hard is it to make veggie soup for one person. The thing is, I don’t have a kitchen at home. I guess I’m going to make soup at my parents and have it frozen. Should be enough until next weekend though, or I’m going to starve!

And I’d better start now!

Oh, by the way, it’s less than an hour after the ‘torture’ and my legs are starting to feel weird. My body and shoulder pain are better, but my calves feel like I have needles all over them. And my fore arms are starting to feel numb. I just wish they won’t get any worse than this… oh well, we’ll what’s going to happen in the next few days.

Of witchcraft and black magic.. Part 8

ACCEPTANCE
So those are the important events that have finally made me believe that black magic is still practiced today, and I’m at the centre of it.

Someone told me the natural reactions to anything would be: shock, denial, bargain, acceptance and recovery. I guess now that I’ve finally learnt to accept what’s happening, there’s only recovery left in that cycle. So it won’t be long before this crap will end.

WHAT HAPPENED SO FAR
Up to this day, not only I have suffered from physical pains, but also psychological misery. My friends are avoiding me. They have been giving all kinds of excuses to not see me. If there are appointments set earlier, they have been giving lame excuses to cancel. Some bolder ones even called me crazy – in my face! Acquaintances, who used to wave, smile and talk to me, now choose to look in a different direction whenever I’m around. Some even turn their backs to me. They'd rather walk sideways than having to see me in their vision range.

I only have two people left, who believe me, but I haven’t seen them for a couple of weeks - one fell ill and another had an accident. I wonder if these have anything to do with this crap too. My family has been supporting me too, of course. But recently my mum had cramps on various muscles even while watching tv, persistent headaches and feeling tightness in her chest. Could this also be…?


I have a feeling that I’m not her only target, that she might have cursed a bunch of us in order to get what she wants. So if you know me in person, you might know the people I have mentioned. And if life has been throwing shit at you for about a year or so, you might want to try looking at things differently. And, at any time, if you need someone to talk to, I’m all ears. We’re all in this together.

KEEP SINGING
As I’m writing this, they’re showing a clip on Oprah about this very talented young man, Andrew Johnston. The said he has been bullied all his life for singing songs that his friends think are not cool. But he kept on singing. And once he started singing, my gosh, I was in awe! Such wonderful high notes… he got the audiences crying! One of the judges said “You could knock all those bullies out with your singing!”.


And yes, inspired by this boy, I will keep singing. Whatever nonsense people throw at me, I will face it. God hears my daily prayers, and He is fair. I have seen this too many times in my life, I know the tables will turn.


To the bitch responsible for all this mess, these are my words to you: It won’t be long before everyone will know the whole truth. And once that day comes, believe me, no one will believe anything you say anymore, for the rest of your life!

Of witchcraft and black magic.. Part 7

It was only after the 'revelation' that I decided to finally look up on this black magic practices.  Not to start practicing, but simply to find out if there is anything I can do to protect myself from being a victim.  And, oh boy, there are plenty of stuff on the 'net about it!  These things are still practiced today, at large!
 
I found an audio file - a ceramah from this ustaz.  He talked about the signs of black magic.  On how to tell if you or anyone you know is being cursed.  I cried once I heard it.  10 out of the 14 signs, I have experienced myself!  And all this while I just ignored them all.
 
These are the signs, let me list them in Malay so I won't get the meaning wrong by translating them:
 
On individual
1.  'Pelik' tapi tak perasan - My friends and family has pointed out that they thought I looked different.  That I didn't seem like myself.  I never felt any different, of course.  Then again, I'm always blur (dazed), so I never gave the remarks much thought.
 
2. Melakukan perkara yang bukan-bukan - Now this is really hard to spot as I'm really unpredictable.  But I did, at one time wondered why did I agree to buy a new MyVi.  Sure my mum ordered it but I didn't really object.  To me, then, I should really get a new car because my Kelisa's alarm system wasn't working.  That's it.  Oh, and then when my laptop's power cable broke - I almost bought a new set.  Lucky the shop didn't have the model I wanted!
 
3. Pening/sakit berpanjangan - My appendix, knee, shoulder and all sorts of 'minor' injuries I got during the past year.  I noticed this, and even told my boss then, that after my appendix surgery my health had gone down the drain.  I was always on MC, sometimes had to leave office early because I wasn't feeling well.  My bosses, thought I got fed up with work, and that I was frustrated that I wasn't promoted.  In actual fact, I was more than happy to get a new boss - believe me, no one in their correct mind would want to sit at that post.  Enough said!
 
4. Terlalu mencintai/membenci seseorang atau sesuatu - I was depressed, and my work (last time) suck!  And I made all kinds of excuses to not go back to my parents' on weekends.  If I went, I'd go very late on Saturday and came back early Sunday morning.
 
5. Tidak berjaya dalam segala kerja/usaha - All projects I planned didn't work at all.  Something always came up, and I had to keep postponing the deadline or cancel the project altogether.
 
6. Dibenci - I wasn't performing at work, of course everybody hated me, right?  Then there were other people who avoided me for no apparent reason.  Not even bother to tell me what I did wrong.  And I was too pissed at them to even ask them what was wrong.
 
7. Hilang selera makan tapi semakin gemuk - I don't eat when I'm upset, and clearly the things that's been happening made me upset.  If I eat, I'd only take half the portion and ask someone to finish my food for me.  But still, my weight and waistline increased.  Somebody even pointed this out.  Hecks, the woman that I saw rubbing her shoulder also pointed this out, but that time it was not really obvious that I was getting fatter, despite the workouts.  How come she knew?  Jeng, jeng jeng....
 
At home
8. Bau harum/busuk - My place sometimes smelled like a dump site.  And I'd be spending hours trying to find the source but never successful.  Except for this one time when I forgot to eat my nasi goreng for a few days!  Yuck!
 
9. Bunyi heretan/mencakar - I always heard scratching sound from outside my window, but thought those were the birds.  Yeah, I have birds making nest at the old aircond chamber, and I love it when they make their birdie sound!  But at one time, I didn't hear them cuckooing.  I thought they moved out - it was for a few weeks.  Now let's see if I heard the scratching sound even when the birds left...
 
10. Barangan rumah rosak - No problem so far... no wait, my fridge sort of 'exploded' one day.  The inside were black and the cooling parts went kaput.  Then again, this could be normal, isn't it?
 
11. Nampak bayangan hitam - I saw shadow at my office, not at home.  Does this count?
 
12. Makanan cepat basi - No problem with this.  I either eat out, or finish my food as soon as I get home.  Except for that one time...
 
13. Terlalu takut - Shouldn't be anything extraordinary as I am a 'scaredy cat', just like how my 5-year old cousin described me.
 
14. Terdapat darah/serangga tanpa diketahui punca - I normally take the stairs at my apartment, supposedly to exercise.  One day I noticed trail of blood from the first step on the ground floor, right to the corridor on my level.  My first thought was "Whoa, someone had a major nose bleed!"  so I never bothered to check where it ended.  It was only a few days after that I felt like checking it out, but by that time the blood was already cleaned.  I managed to ask the cleaner though, and he said the blood ended right in front of MY house.  My gosh!  I think my face went white because the cleaner looked concern after that.
 
See, I had most of the things happening to me but never noticed what was really going on!  But honestly, I really wish the things were really coincidences, that no one I know is really that bad. No one really that selfish to ‘befriend’ spirits and cause harm to another human being to get what they want.

Oh, you can listen to the audio at this link, by the way:
http://www.ceramahislam.com/audio/malay/UstJumadiMustar/tandasihir.mp3

Marriage proposal answer

Let's forget about my hocus-pocus tell-all for a bit.  Someone sent me an email this morning - it's hilarious!  I mean, this poor guy is trying hard to impress this 'Madam', and that's it... he's trying too hard!  And the grammar... tsk.. tsk..  Rolling on floor laughing - literally!

Read on (HAAAA HA!):
--------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL FUNNY – ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA. RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSAL' ADVERTISEMENT!


MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN PUNJABI ENGLISH (DON'T LAUGH; DEAD SERIOUS)

Madam :

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day... Fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.

I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours

Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and become big in Lahore, Punjab

Of witchcraft and black magic.. Part 6

After the second meeting, despite not completely agreeing with that the bomoh said, I became more wary of the people I met.  Not that I lost trust in them, I just paid more attention to what they say and how they carry themselves.  I don’t know, maybe I thought I could spot this person just by paying closer attention.  Is that stupid, or what?

Then I found out that Z is really going out with this woman.  Or at least they looked and acted and said things like they are.  I have to admit, I was crushed, but what the hell… not like I’ve never gone through this before.  But what got my alarm bells ringing was, I don’t know how long they have been dating, but Z was talking about future plans.  What?  Just a few weeks, and he’s already hearing wedding bells?  What about “I have 3 more years…”?  Trying to be optimistic, I told myself, at least now I don’t have to worry about crazy girls calling, screaming “stay away from Z”, “you don’t deserve him” or “Z is mine!”.  Yeah, that’d be a relief…  And that means I can go back to my favourite spot in class – right in front of the teacher.  Which also mean, sitting very near to Z.

SHOULDER RIPPED OFF
This one particular day, I sat in front and notice Z’s gf was waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy at the back, sulking.  Jealous ke? I didn’t give a damn.  After that class, I joined another.  Right before I entered this class, my shoulder suddenly hurt.  Felt like someone ripped it off.  It was so painful I could have sworn I saw stars!  Or what seemed like stars.  So I recited some doa, in case this was pain was caused by, I don’t know, black magic?  I also wished for the pain to go away, and if it were really ‘sent’ to me, for God to show me who the person was.  And right after I said that, the pain did go away.  I had chills down my spine; of course, I never thought this thing would work! (Someone told me to try this, in case I feel something’s wrong)  And that was that… or so I thought.  After the class, I saw the woman again.  Let’s see what should I call her… nope, she doesn’t deserve to be named.  And to my surprise, she was rubbing her shoulder, right at the spot where I felt pain earlier.  And boy, did she look pissed.

I couldn’t believe my eyes!  Of course, I wasn’t so fond of her, but still… I mean, to think that she actually did such things… I still couldn’t accept that possibility.

INJURIES

Later I found out that the person had put these spells on me, whatever it is, for over a year.  And it was true, the dream I had about me getting stabbed in four places had everything to do with this.  It’s really funny to think how my appendix infection could be caused by black magic isn’t it?  Laugh all you want, it’s really ok cause I laughing hard myself!  As for my knee injury, now that I can see – the doctor was puzzled when he looked at my scan report.  And I went for therapy for 6 weeks without any improvements.  Of course, the pain went away one time after the six weeks – I never knew what happened, the hantu went on vacation?  But after a couple of days it came back and it was difficult for me to move around.  Even worse when I had to bend my left leg, especially during prayers and yoga.  I had to do my prayers sitting on a chair, and for that I didn’t do it when anyone was around.  Too proud to admit I was suffering from pain worse than the aunties, I guess.  Then the shoulder pain that almost got me paralysed, that too was easy to spot.  I’m just glad the lower back pain had never occurred.  Can’t imagine what would have happened to me – I don’t even dare to think about it!  Sheesh!

HEIGHTEN SENSES
There was a time (for about 4 – 6 weeks) when I saw, felt, heard and smelled things.  I saw a benevolent green dragon turned into fierce red one during meditation.  That added with a feeling of being threatened - such violent feeling!  And this caused me insomnia for almost a month!  I really got scared to sleep.  No wait, I wanted to sleep, but my body refused to go into the relaxed mode.  Every single time I tried, my body went into a shock and I get anxious, and so I couldn’t sleep.  I heard the ‘black chakra’ whisper on a different meditation session.  I also smelled something like rotten meat, or damp clothes.  At the moment I smelled the stench, an instructor passed by me.  Naturally I thought it was the instructor who smelled bad, and I cancelled plan to join his class!  I really feel bad about it, and I’m really sorry.  I wish I’m brave enough to apologize to him, but until this day I’m still a chicken shit!  Haha!  And really, these experiences did creep me out.  I was scared I might have gone to a level which I wasn’t ready for.  What worse, I thought I might be going crazy!  I was ready to quit yoga and meditation then.  Better stop than regret later, right?  Lucky for me, one of my yoga instructors told me to take it positively, that my senses were heightened and these only happen to those who are ready.  I found out later, that these were only some of the gimmicks done by that person to make me stay away from the club, so Z won’t see me anymore.  So he’d forget me, and so she would be able to work her spells without any interference.  Wait, what kind of interference could I have could I have done?

PRANK CALLS
What else, what else… Gosh, there are too many things to list here.  The girls calling and threatening me – could it be that this person’s hantu gave them the idea to call me?  Oh, and to give them my number.  Hi-tech betul hantu ni kalau macam tu.  Then the lady who slapped me at the carpark.  Rumours that I got pregnant and went for abortion?  Wait, this one could be simply that someone heard me wrongly.  I did tell someone I went for an ‘operation’, but maybe it sounded like ‘abortion’.  Better get your ears checked, people!  Owh, and this guy who never liked me, suddenly asked me out.  Persistently.  Even threatened to harm my instructors if I go for yoga classes.  Phew!

Ok that’s it.  My brain’s working extra hard to remember.  Time to get to work! 

Of witchcraft and black magic.. Part 5

Determined to have the bomoh answer my questions, I went to see him at the next opportunity. Not only to know whether he made me dreams those horrible dreams, I have also listed a few other questions that I want answered. I was sure I'd press this guy nicely until he gave me what I wanted.


Just as soon as he saw me, he said I looked better. “Of course, I didn’t have any workshops today, I feel less tired!” And without wasting any time, I immediately told him about the dream I had. He just smiled – and I was pissed. “I want answers, give me answers!”

HITCH-HIKER
He did answer some questions in the end. According to him, I picked up a ‘hitch-hiker’, some kind of wandering spirits because my spirit was weak. Exactly, he said “lemah semangat”, I don’t know how to translate this in English. And, just so I don’t freak myself, let me use ‘weak will’ rather that ‘weak spirit’. The latter reminds me of something else.

He told me that I should worry about making my will stronger, let him settle the other one. The other? When I asked, he just smiled, and said I told you, don’t worry about it. For some strange reason – not really, I have such a big mouth – I asked if the ‘other thing’ has anything to do with this dream I had about Z. He smiled and said nothing. But from the way he smiled, I thought it did.

BODYLESS GUARD
Only after a while did he told me this: “Somebody doesn’t want you to get close to that guy. That’s why he/she (dia) puts a ‘guard’ to keep you away from him.” I was stunned! What on earth was he talking about? Why would anyone want to do that? And which person I know would be evil enough and stupid enough to do such thing? I really couldn’t think of anyone. This might sound awfully untrue, but I can’t place anyone in the ‘bad’ category. Not any strangers, especially not the people I know! I mean, sure, they are not perfect but nobody really is bad…

OK that’s it. Time to berbuka and then prayers!

Of witchcraft and black magic.. Part 4

APPOINTMENT
I did mention in my earlier posts that a friend asked me to see someone she knows, who might be able to help.

That time, my friends told me I looked like a haggard.  And true enough, I felt tired and demotivated at all time, nothing was interesting anymore.  To put simply, I was depressed! 

Thinking that nothing worse could happen anymore than what I had experienced, I went along with the idea.  I was really touched to see my friends willing to sacrifice their time, energy and gas to help me get better.
That day when I was supposed to go see this 'friend', I had a workshop which got extended til midnight.  It was supposed to be until 5pm but there were so many issues to discuss, and the participants were so excited to get everything moving - all of them except me!  Well, I would be excited too if I didn't have anything planned for the night.  And if I understood what the issues were really about - I had just joined the company one week, and they asked me to contribute to their strategic plan. I mean come on!

Anyways, this appointment was supposed to be at 9.30pm, at a place which I'm not familiar. Considering my knack for getting lost, added with possible traffic jams, I asked to leave around 7pm  (Don't even try to picture the way they looked at me when they found out I was leaving - berani nya budak baru ni cabut awal!) 
I was supposed to go with two friends, but as I was leaving they called to cancel.  Yeah, so much for helping out, huh?  But nevermind that, I still went - couldn't take the humiliation of cancelling appointments at last minute simply because I had to go alone.  And surprisingly, by God's will, I got there in less than half an hour!  I thought I might take over an hour just to get to that place.  Then with the traffic jam and all... and me missing turns... oh well...  So I got to that area around 7.30pm (now I wonder how fast I drove that day) and had two hours to kill.  As I arrived at the neighbourhood, I parked my car and stared out, not knowing what I should do for the next two hours.  I wanted to drive around that place, but scared I might get lost - I don't need to remind you about my superpower at getting lost, right?  Especially not with my brain tired from brainstorming sessions all day!

...
...
...
Is it time yet?  Nope.
...
...
...
Nope, not yet!
...
>_-
...
...
-_<
...
...
...
>_<
...
...
...
And finally 9.30pm came! Phew!


I went to the place, and met this 'friend'.  I found out that this friend is a traditional healer, or a bomoh.  I was immediately reminded of the bomohs I've seen when I was little.  "Oh no, what have I gotten myself into?"  But still, I was already there, so I thought I might as well proceed.  I knew I was depressed, and who knows, maybe a little of jampi can help lift my mood?  No harm, right?  I hoped so.
So when I got to see this bomoh, I told him I have been feeling anxious and tired all the time.  He smiled and told me I have 'something' following me.  That thing kind of fed on my energy - that was why I felt tired.  Know what I thought at that moment?  "Yeah, right.... !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!"  But then, he asked if I noticed that people looked uncomfortable talking to me.  I said "Yeah....".   I thought "They can see I'm depressed, they are uncomfortable because they don't know what to say to make me feel better".  Really, the crap I have seen many years ago made me a sceptic!


BEATEN
Then he called one of his assistants, and asked me to follow her.  I was asked to sit at the verandah. I followed, feeling really silly. Then suddenly, the assistant threw something at me - Hey! And that followed by covering my head and hitting my back with a stick! Lucky for her I was shocked; otherwise she would get it from me, definitely! But a least now I know how carpets feel when I put them at my balcony and beat them. But, hey, I was just cleaning the carpets…

After that I had to see the bomoh again. I was ready to see more ridiculous rituals, but I hoped in my heart I don't have to be beaten again. It really hurt, you know… ='( I was surprised though, and maybe a little disappointed, that all he did after that was asked me to bathe with some water for three days in a row. Then he said everything will be fine, don't worry "Yeah, maybe nothing was really wrong with me." But the hit really did wake me up though. And so I went home…


DREAMS
The next morning I realized I didn't dream at all. I forgot to tell, since that last bathe with the blessed water I have been having awful nightmares. Of people being tied up and tortured, fierce animals attacking me, dried corpses… Sometimes I'd wake up sweating, short of breath and wished that I don't even have to sleep again! But that night, magically, I did not dream! Yeay! I told a friend and she was happy for me, for finally being 'normal'. Fantastic!
On the third day, however, I dreamt of this guy – ok, let's call him Z. (Yikes, now I feel like Lady JK Rowling figuring out names for her Harry Potter characters. ;p ) In that dream, I saw Z putting his arm into a sack and some how he got 'sucked' inside the sack. Next I saw him again, and right in front of him was a severed head. The head was hideous – long messy hair, long beard and moustache (both messy too!), but I can still make out the features. He looked like someone from Genghis Khan era. I know, wild imagination can do so much… tsk… tsk… Then Z turned to his right, and this head also followed. I don't remember whether the head rolled or what, but it was there. And this time, the head was facing my way. Of course la I was scared, so I woke up.

And that did it. I decided to go see this bomoh guy again and ask him how on earth I'd be dreaming of that guy? And what about the severed head? Was this his doing? But then again, I could be missing that guy so much… but that didn't explain the severed head. Or maybe that was what I wanted to do to Z – pull his head off? Nah, that'd be a crime. And I'm far better than that…